Deep Boredom - Part 1

When Rasha woke up the next day, she was alone on the bed.

Slowly sitting up, a tingling pain traveled up her spine, one vertebra at a time. The area around her neck was also uncomfortably sore, and as she cautiously reached out her hand, the numbness intensified. Absentmindedly turning her head, she caught sight of a large mirror placed on one side.

More precisely, she saw her swollen face reflected in it.

From her neck down to her upper body, there wasn’t a single unaffected area. It was as if she had been chewed on by a wild beast all night, with bruises marking her skin. Particularly around her breasts, it was so swollen that she involuntarily stuck out her tongue. The result of Chedev’s lips ravaging her chest overnight.

Furthermore, dry cum stains clung between her flattened belly and the dimples below her thighs. He hadn’t left any part of her body untouched by his seed.

After sitting there for a long time, Rasha got out of bed. Too scared to take a step, she slid straight down. Her legs wobbled as she barely held onto the bed to pull herself up. Instead of forcing herself to sit up, she leaned back against the bed.

“Ow…”

Moving carelessly sent a shiver through her thighs. She didn’t need to see it to know what it looked like. The delicate flesh around her intimate area must have been swollen bright red from the intense penetration. The sex they had last night was rough and demanding enough to expect such aftermath.

Rasha clutched her belly and stared blankly into space.

Chedev seemed like he had gone insane last night. She could feel how much patience he had endured throughout the night, right down to her very skin. Even for Rasha, who had spent many nights together with him, his overwhelming excitement was unfamiliar. Of course, Rasha’s continuous attempts to find her rationality had stimulated him, but still, the explosion of his desire last night was neither fabricated nor false.

That’s why it was even more heart-wrenching.

Now, the only way for Rasha to feel his warmth was through sex, and even that required enduring such severe pain to satisfy him.

If I have to put in so much effort and endure such agony to maintain this love….

With those thoughts, Rasha wanted to give up.

She tightly bit her lower lip and gradually lowered her head.

“…I’m sorry.”

The thought of the life conceived in her womb had already crossed her mind when she collapsed after their vigorous intercourse. As difficult as it was for her, it wouldn’t have been an easy task for the baby to endure last night.

Guilt, like dripping water, seeped into her consciousness. It was a heartless sense of guilt. In anxiety and jealousy, she had acted recklessly, and now… when it was too late… How foolish she had been. She gently touched her still-unrevealing belly, and something fell onto her knees.

It was a tear.

It poured down in an instant, forming a stream of water. Rasha cried quietly under the corner of the bed without making a sound. The lump of sorrow inside her lingered for a long time.

Last night, Rasha told him ‘I love you’ several times. With the hope of eliciting his passion, reminiscing about the past, and… hoping for a response of the same emotion.

However, Chedev never fulfilled that expectation. No matter how long she waited or whispered words that could ignite desire, there seemed to be no sign of a response.

And finally, when the lovemaking was over.

The eyes that were once filled with desire and passion returned coldly. Eyes that couldn’t even expect any warm words, let alone love. The heart automatically shrank, rendering seven years of accumulated time useless…

To Rasha, the phrase ‘I love you’ didn’t carry its literal meaning.

Hold me.

Hold me so I don’t collapse from exhaustion.

It was a signal similar to that, but Chedev, with his ankles trapped in deep boredom, failed to notice. Now, he would continue to grow colder, gradually consumed by that swamp, but he had no intention of witnessing the change until the end. If he didn’t get rid of her before even observing, it would be fortunate.

It seemed better to fold at this point rather than being cast aside in such a state. That was the best choice.

“…Sigh.”

At that painful conclusion, Rasha cried while curling up her body. Various parts of her body were in pain, but compared to the agony in her heart, they were just insignificant injuries.

The bedroom was filled with stifled sobbing for a while.

After a few minutes.

Rasha took a deep breath and wiped her tear-stained cheek. Then she slowly rose to her feet. Checking the table clock, it wasn’t even noon yet. The sunlight shining through the window was dazzling.

Chedev probably wouldn’t return until the sky turned pitch black. Today was a day when the imperial government held a national conference. He was the imperial founding hero and the leader of the royal faction, so he always went on duty on this day and returned late at midnight when the sky was completely dark. That’s why Rasha chose this day.

Today, he’d have to show up as late as possible.

She led her trembling legs and headed to the bathroom first. She had momentarily lost her senses with the water running. Soon, the warmth of the hot water awakened her. She filled the basin with water and let it flow over her body. Gradually, the marks left by Chedev, like the imprint of his possessions, were being erased. The marks, like the beast’s bite marks, could not be removed by water, but time would take care of that.

She bathed slowly, a little slower than usual. She couldn’t take this luxury for granted because she didn’t know when such a moment with Chedev would come again.

After washing up, she headed to the living room connected to the bedroom. She knelt in front of the drawer where she had hidden the bottle that revealed her last pregnancy. Opening the final compartment, she unfolded the neatly arranged cloth, revealing an angry scarlet color.

This place was like a treasure chest where Rasha collected precious things. Everything inside was related to Chedev.

Most of the trinkets and jewelry were gifts from him, but there were many other things as well. A few letters from Chedev on an expedition, a pressed flower from Rasha’s favorite lisianthus, and a hairbrush he’d commissioned to be handmade for her long hair. Beyond that, …… it was filled with evidence that his love was genuine.

“……”

Sadness engulfed her anew.

She wished she didn’t know.

It would have been better if she hadn’t received them.

Remembering the time when he loved her made her even sadder. It felt as if the remnants of the past, preserved in memories, were whimsically tormenting her heart.

Rasha continued to dig beneath the piled jewels like a tomb, still touching the fiery gem. Underneath, she grasped a neatly folded handkerchief. It was the most cherished item among everything inside.

The world had only recently found stability. Until then, wars had erupted everywhere for the expansion of territories and the strengthening of power. The Empire of Vellium was no exception to this bloodshed.

Upon reaching adulthood, Chedev was frequently dispatched on missions. Each time, Rasha couldn’t shake off her anxiety. All she could do was pray to God, hoping for his safe return. During that time, she heard a superstition that if she gave him a handkerchief with her own embroidery for his expedition, he would come back unharmed.

From then on, whenever Chedev’s departure was scheduled, Rasha would embroider on a white cloth and give it as a gift.

‘Should I try it?’

One day, he took an interest in her embroidery. It was a rare day when he didn’t go on duty and had some rest.

Chedev had Rasha sit on his lap as he painstakingly embroidered along her trembling hand. His large hands, rough and scarred, embroidering on a small piece of cloth, looked cute and amusing, making Rasha unable to stop laughing.

Chedev called it an unfamiliar act and only managed to make one piece of embroidery before giving up. The completed embroidery, resembling a larkspur flower imitating Rasha’s embroidery, was a mess, with the purple thread clustered like a dot. Unaware of it, there were one or two drops of blood where she must have pricked herself with the thin and sharp embroidery needle.

The handkerchief that contained the memories of that day was more precious to her than anything else.

Rasha, who had been secretly observing it, stood up. She fetched a small cloth bag hidden deep inside the wardrobe and carefully selected dazzling gems to put inside. In truth, she wanted to leave everything behind, but she had no other means since she was broke. Besides, there were so many gems that even if a few went missing, it wouldn’t be noticeable.

After collecting the gems, she put the unique and handmade handkerchief he had made for him deep inside the bag. She couldn’t leave it behind, no matter what.

Before leaving the living room, Rasha briefly turned around.

Perhaps because seven years’ worth of time were contained within, numerous memories with him flashed by like a shooting star. She held back the welling tears and turned her back.

Finally, the door closed with a thud.