“No, no! Not at all. It’s just that I heard you were busy preparing for a new production, so I wondered if you were okay. Ah, I didn’t deliberately pry or anything—”

“It’s fine. My schedule is something anyone can find just by flipping through a magazine.”

Instead of answering the question, Bria Sol let out an artificial exclamation and changed the subject. Not knowing what was happening, Perry obediently followed the senior actress’s intention.

“Some audience member asked why Miss Humble wasn’t there.”

“Asked about me?”

“Since the pre-announced ‘talk with the audience’ stated that all actors would participate. The organizers only explained that it was for personal reasons.”

“…And then?”

“That’s it, but ah. They asked me to give you this.”

A large bouquet of flowers was placed in Perry’s arms. Clear summer roses. The thin petals lightly brushed against her light brown eyelashes. Perry took a deep breath.

“Do you happen to know who gave it?”

“From what I heard, a tall gentleman. Black hair, with a stiff accent… Do you know him?”

“Probably.”

“If it’s not a relative or a friend, you’d better sort it out. Actually, even ‘friend’ is a bit dangerous.”

Her snow-white fingers pulled out a neatly trimmed rose. The gesture of plucking the petals one by one was dry.

“Historically, relationships between artists and patrons haven’t ended well.”

Whoof, the red petals that had piled up in her palm fell at her feet. Her narrow-tipped shoes trampled right over the flower petals.

“An actor needs to stand on their own feet. You have to seize opportunities yourself. Getting entangled with such a rich man can plunge you into a quagmire in an instant.”

“Thank you for your concern. You’re really kind.”

“…Do you really think so?”

“Of course. Regarding the roles, checking on the practice room occasionally, and now delivering this message. And your advice too.”

Bria Sol had no obligation to show kindness to an unknown actress who had never landed a proper supporting role, let alone a lead. She might have shown her face at the workshop, but that was it. Whether an insignificant actor got entangled with someone who, as she put it, left a bad aftertaste and found herself in trouble, was not something Bria Sol needed to worry about.

Yet she deliberately offered a word of advice. Indeed, that inscrutable senior didn’t seem as harsh as the rumors circulating in the practice room suggested.

Her swollen lips drew a docile smile.

“That’s not for your sake, but because I…”

The urgently parted lips closed again silently. A shallow wave rose in her purple eyes, but it was covered by shadows and not revealed. The actress, famous for commanding one of the highest fees among active performers, left the waiting room without finishing her sentence.

※※※

[Congratulating the successful showcase of great actress Perry Humble,

What a shame that such a wonderful play lasted only three days! There’s a need to increase the number of performances, even if it means sending a letter to the Municipal Theater Company. I feel sorry for those who will live without seeing this performance. Do they even know what moment they’ve missed?

I was also quite disappointed that I couldn’t attend the first and second day performances. There’s a limit to just imagining what you might have looked like on the days I couldn’t see, after all. And you’ve always exceeded my imagination.

It’s true. I can be certain.

Can you believe the audience member next to me straightened their back every time you appeared on stage? At first, they just sat with their arms crossed as if to say, ‘Let’s see how good you really are!’ I imagine the audience behind them must have been a bit annoyed.

The Second Small Theater has surprisingly low tiers that don’t match its reputation. I could see the back of the head of the person in the front row too clearly. Fortunately, not enough to block the stage.

Can you feel all the heat from the audience when you’re on stage? I hope you did. It was really amazing. The moment when the red curtain came down, and rose again in less than ten seconds. The instant you walked back onto the stage.

It was enough time for an old man sitting crookedly to lift his heavy bottom and give applause. Not enough to convey all my admiration and support, though.

All the more reason I want to ask. Why did you not participate in the ‘talk with the audience’? Surely not because of your part-time job? Did the restaurant demand an unreasonable schedule?

As someone curious about your interpretation of the work, I was quite disappointed. I was also puzzled. Like, ‘Has something happened to her?’ Please don’t let my imagination run wild.

Reassure me with your usual reply. It’s a bit demanding, I know, but please understand generously. It’s that important an issue to me.

July 4,

Yuan.]

[To Yuan

You came to see it again. Actually, until the day I sent the invitation, I was worried whether you’d be able to come. The date was too tight, wasn’t it? I’m very glad the invitation wasn’t wasted.

Obviously, I have no problems at all. The performance ended successfully, and the response was good, so what could be wrong? I’m busy raising a toast to celebrate.

Today I’m supposed to have lunch with the workshop people. Right after sending this letter, I plan to go to a restaurant that’s newly opened on the top floor of the department store. I hear that some patron who was satisfied with the performance has arranged the venue.

At first I thought ‘Yuan again?’ but decided to put aside my suspicions. The anonymous patron seemed quite close to the director.

Ah, I’ve decided to quit the restaurant job. Even though I wanted to continue—if only for the sake of you who introduced me to the job, though I couldn’t really see it—it seems it was too much to juggle with my acting activities.

The restaurant job suited me quite well, and both the owner and staff were kind. Above all, I regret losing the steady income.

Do you think I’m being too reckless when I don’t even have my next project lined up? I can almost see your handwriting, sulking and asking why I didn’t just take the check in the first place.

Don’t worry too much. Thanks to tightening my belt all this time, I’ve saved up two months’ worth of living expenses. So at least for two months, I won’t be evicted for not paying rent.

I know. If I calculate coldly, it makes sense to either quit acting or continue with the part-time job even if it’s hard on my body. But when I see people attending auditions and devoting themselves to practice even during the hours I work… anxiety surges that ‘this is not the time.’

I don’t know either. Why I’m this desperate.

I really don’t know. If I hadn’t been this earnest, my life would have been smoother. Instead of boarding the train to Roju alone, I would have married someone my parents arranged at an appropriate time. At most, helping with my spouse’s work or something like that.

If that had happened, I wouldn’t be so anxious, and I wouldn’t have to squeeze my eyes shut while organizing the household accounts. And,

I wouldn’t have met you either, Yuan.

How hot the stage lights are, how my eyes sting when the performance ends, how thrilling it is to be called ‘Miss Actress.’ I wouldn’t have known any of it.

So I would make the same choice even if I went back, even if I couldn’t guarantee the future.

Is that too irresponsible? But Yuan, you’re partly responsible too. I’m still an unknown actress, but you know my name.

Because you discovered me.

From tomorrow, I’m going to start looking for auditions again. If I keep searching, I’ll find my place somewhere. And if not, I can think about it again then.

Thank you always.

July 7,

Your actress, Perry Humble.

P.S. Ah, I received a letter from Father after a long time. It’s been about three years, and he’s telling me to come back immediately and get married.

P.P.S. Bright letters on dark paper are indeed easier to see! But isn’t black paper hard to find? I can read well enough with what you’ve been sending before, so don’t worry too much.]

[Dear Perry

Again, I say this, Perry, I will always support and encourage your decisions. As long as it’s not news that you’re giving up your acting career!

I’m glad you’re doing well. There’s nothing to be sorry about regarding the restaurant. I merely passed on information I happened to learn by chance.

Your enthusiasm seems to be overflowing, and I too feel fulfilled in one corner of my heart. No fan would refuse an actress’s challenge. By the way—marriage?

When I first read your letter, I was so startled that I spilled my teacup. Fortunately it was light-colored peppermint tea; if it had been coffee, I wouldn’t have been able to read any further.