He hadn’t expected her to wait up without sleeping, but he couldn’t help the smile that formed.

It was his wife’s voice.

But Claven’s brow furrowed again at the unexpected sight of his wife emerging from a guest room.

Even at Pave Castle she’d stayed in a room unsuited to the Grand Duchess’s status, and it was the same at Bondrake Manor. Was this Eisha’s choice not to share the couple’s bedroom with him?

Watching Eisha meet his gaze while adjusting her nightgown robe, Claven’s chest tightened.

But Claven quickly hung a gentle smile back on his lips before it was too late and began approaching his wife.

Spotting Claven standing at the end of the corridor, Eisha unconsciously held her breath and examined her husband.

‘Have his memories returned?’

Eisha wavered at his appearance, even more haggard than when she’d last seen him. But soon discovering the smile forming on her husband’s lips, Eisha swallowed a small sigh inwardly.

‘Not yet.’

An emotion she couldn’t identify surged up, but she habitually pushed it back down deep inside. Whatever emotion it was, nothing would change.

Eisha also took a step toward Claven and smiled.

“The meeting must have ended late.”

“…Yeah.”

Claven hid the fact that he’d been delayed further by stopping at the jeweler’s and took Eisha’s hand to lead her.

“Let’s go.”

“Where?”

“To sleep.”

“But my room is here.”

“Ah…”

Claven, who’d stopped short, turned around and entered the room Eisha had come from.

“Your room is my room. My room is your room.”

At her husband’s words, Eisha let out a short sigh and spoke to the attendant.

“Go about your business.”

Then Eisha also followed Claven into the room and shut the door. Leaving behind the attendant busy trying to figure out the situation.

* * *

“Sleep well.”

“You too, sleep well.”

Though Eisha desperately wanted to ask Claven about the Council of Elders and the oracle, she refrained.

Eisha thought getting Claven into bed was the top priority. It wasn’t a matter he’d answer even if asked, and the husband she’d seen after ten days looked terribly haggard.

Claven too, perhaps because he was exhausted, fell fast asleep the moment his head touched the pillow.

‘I can’t tell if this Council of Elders is trying to catch the rumors or catch people.’

Listening to her husband’s even breathing, Eisha also closed her eyes and tried to sleep. She’d be very busy starting tomorrow.

Not because of preparations for Claven’s birthday banquet. 

Though hosting banquets held by the family was the Grand Duchess’s responsibility, Eisha had finished all instructions before departing from Pave Castle.

Even without Jeff, who’d taken extended leave for Joan’s delivery, Vera would assist Kelly and Fino, so there was no problem.

Eisha’s schedule was tight with just personal matters. She had to go for a dress fitting for the one she’d ordered for the banquet, and get matching accessories. And she’d arranged to visit Blay Manor to meet Count and Countess Blay, who would arrive in the capital late afternoon.

‘When I meet my aunt-in-law, I should ask about her health first. And…’

Thinking about tomorrow’s tasks, Eisha too began succumbing to drowsiness.

Eisha suddenly recalled Claven’s smile she’d seen at the end of the corridor earlier. Along with that smile, one word flashed through her mind.

‘Curtain call.’

The end of this play wasn’t far off.

She didn’t know why. If she had to give a reason, maybe it was a woman’s intuition.

Finally surrendering her consciousness to drowsiness, Eisha prayed not to have dreams.

She hoped her exhausted husband’s sleep wouldn’t be disturbed by her nightmares. So she prayed and prayed again that this affectionate time they had left wouldn’t become a time of pain. 

Because she wanted his pain to reach its maximum by his lover’s side.

With such modest wishes, Eisha fell asleep, and some time later, Claven slowly lifted his eyelids.

Carefully turning on his side, he could see Eisha’s profile as she slept with her lush eyelashes gently closed, breathing evenly.

Eisha slept so motionlessly it was questionable whether she was actually breathing.

He couldn’t dare touch her for fear his carelessness might disturb her sound sleep. The best he could do was caress her with shadows drawn by moonlight.

‘My love.’

He wanted to sing every time he saw her. That he wanted to love her.

If his mother hadn’t told him as a child that he was tone-deaf, he might have sung serenades outside her window every night.

Was it just singing? 

Through three past lives, she was someone he wanted to give the whole world to, so Eisha was more precious than his own life.

But why had he lived such a wretched life in his fourth life?

Claven couldn’t believe it.

Even when he first heard from his close associates that he’d loved Iris, not Eisha, he’d thought it was a poor-quality lie. Because Fino and everyone else had been displeased with Eisha.

So even after facing his past through nightmares, Claven had turned away. He dismissed them as dreams and didn’t believe them.

He had to.

If that was really his past, how could he hold onto Eisha?

Eisha, who’d had to face terrible deaths in all three lives because of him…

Even after coming up to the capital, he’d always searched for excuses. Even if he couldn’t remember, if he’d seemed to care for Iris, he’d explained it must have been a misunderstanding.

Because he’d had to protect Iris’s life to protect Eisha’s life.

But the moment he saw the order form Baton presented, Claven felt his vision go dark.

The order form clearly had his name written as the groom’s name and Iris’s name as the bride’s name.

How could he have brazenly thought of marrying another woman while having a wife?

Had he really loved Iris in his fourth life, like people said?

And Milo was born as the fruit of that?

‘So… was that why I treated Ria so cruelly?’

Claven squeezed his eyes shut again.

It felt like all the beliefs he’d held until now were crumbling. He couldn’t understand what he’d been trying to protect all this time.

‘I only have you, Eisha… You’re leaving me?’

Just the thought made him feel like his breath was cut off.

Claven carefully grasped Eisha’s hand. She was the only one who gave him this feeling. His wife was the reason he lived and breathed in this world.

Pulling the hand he held close, he gently kissed Eisha’s fingertips and murmured.

“Ria, what should I do? I can’t let you go…”

It could be called obsession. No, it definitely was an obsession.

Even facing the cruel reality he’d confirmed with his own eyes, Claven couldn’t let Eisha go.

The memories that hadn’t yet returned were his only remaining hope and worry, but even that didn’t matter anymore. Whatever those memories were, he had no intention of letting Eisha go.

Even if it was a life full of only pain and hardship, he’d desperately hold her by his side and make her breathe.

Because he knew all too well that life without her was only hell.

Claven quietly closed his eyes.

Turning away from reality was nothing to him. No, he could be even more shameless.

As long as he could stay by Eisha’s side.

* * *

“Welcome, Aunt.”

As the Dowager Countess Blay got out of the carriage, Eisha, who’d been waiting, greeted her.

Anne’s eyes widened at the unexpected reception.

“Eisha, you startled me. What’s going on? Weren’t you supposed to come in the afternoon?”

“One appointment got canceled.”

She’d planned to finish the dress fitting early in the morning and then go look at matching accessories, but there was no need thanks to the items sent to Bondrake Manor early that morning.

Accessories in the latest trendy designs of every color were presented to Eisha one after another, like an entire jewelry store had been purchased. Since there were many jewels that would match well with the dress she’d had made, she decided not to make separate purchases.

“So I thought I’d have lunch with you in my free time. I’m sorry for visiting without notice, but I’ll take my scolding once we’re inside. It’s chilly out.”

Though the season was full spring, the air was quite cold from rain that had fallen in the morning. It wasn’t right to leave Anne, whose health wasn’t good, standing outside long.

When Eisha quickly escorted her with those slender arms, Anne chuckled and accepted Eisha’s intention.

The two women entered Blay Manor arm in arm, so affectionately that their cold first meeting didn’t come to mind.

After finishing their meal, the two were drinking tea steeped with Jerusalem artichokes. Anne took a sip of tea and set down her teacup.

“At first it was so bland I really couldn’t drink it, but now I can’t live without it.”

“I’m glad. Gordon’s trip all the way west was worthwhile.”

Eisha recalled how Gordon had been away from Claven’s side for several months before the divorce.

‘Thanks to that, my pregnancy wasn’t discovered…’

Eisha refocused on her conversation with Anne, pulling herself together from becoming gloomy.

“Right, they’re working on cultivating it in the Empire now too. He’s an amazing person.”

“Yes.”

“How fortunate that such a capable doctor is by Raven’s side.”

“Yes…”

That was really true. Without Gordon, Claven wouldn’t have survived the assassination during the war or the accident last winter.

‘He also saved Iris who’d taken poison…’

Eisha slightly twisted her lips, disliking her previous thought. She’d said she’d love Claven, but that was for petty revenge. Yet wasn’t it like she truly loved him and was jealous of Iris?

Fortunately, Anne didn’t notice Eisha’s expression change and continued the conversation to the next topic.

“Did you hear about Hugh?”

“Yes… that he broke off his engagement?”

“He did. That was already a year ago.”

Anne was silent for a moment, perhaps recalling that time. But only briefly, she soon continued.

“Charlotte withdrew readily without a word of complaint at Hugh’s decision. Apparently she didn’t have any particular affection for Hugh from the start—it was just the right place at the right time for marriage.”

“That’s fortunate.”

“Thanks to parting well, Charlotte and I still keep in touch. Charlotte plans to attend Raven’s birthday banquet too, so you should meet her. I’m sure you two will get along well.”

“Yes, Aunt.”

Eisha didn’t bother voicing a refusal.

Though she, who’d soon leave far away, wouldn’t be making connections, there was no need to reveal her inner thoughts, so she just smiled.

But even Eisha found it hard to maintain her smile at Anne’s continued conversation.

“With Raven…”

Anne finally brought up the topic she’d been itching to discuss.

“I heard you decided to reunite with Raven—was the divorce itself nullified?”

“…Ah, yes.”

“I see… So that’s how it is.”

Anne held back her words. She examined Eisha’s complexion with an affectionate expression she didn’t even show her own son.

‘What weakness was caught this time?’

It was a suspicion Anne harbored because she couldn’t understand at all what state of mind Eisha had returned in.

She didn’t know if returning was good for Eisha. By Anne’s standards, her nephew was the worst as a husband.

No matter how much he was called the Empire’s best man, living as a wife beside Claven, who had a lover the entire Empire knew about, required superhuman patience.

Eisha probably had too. During three years of marriage, her insides must have rotted and been torn to shreds.

‘That’s why she ran away like that.’

Though she herself hadn’t been a very good aunt-in-law either.

There was a time when Anne had hoped for a future where the union of Hebrandt and Chatré would bring power surpassing the arbitrary Emperor. So under the pretext of being for Hebrandt’s sake, she’d done many terrible things to Eisha.

But at some point, Anne had completely lost her heart to Eisha. Even though she wasn’t the type to be swayed by compassion at all.

So after the sudden separation, when news came that Eisha had died, she didn’t know how many tears she’d shed alone.

The Eisha she met again after two years was, contrary to rampant rumors, still kind and attentive.

So because Eisha, who’d carefully observed her eating habits, mentioned it to Gordon, they could discover early that she had diabetes symptoms.

Otherwise, maintaining even her current health would have been difficult.

During the two years they couldn’t meet, Anne had only felt grateful and sorry toward Eisha. How fortunate that she had a chance to make amends now.

But she received an unexpected request from Eisha.