“…How is she?”

Kian asked in a low, husky voice. His gaze remained fixed on Vivianne, who lay motionless like a corpse. Her face was pale as paper. Thin bandages were wrapped tightly around her slender wrists.

“Fortunately, the wounds don’t appear too deep. She should be fine soon.”

“She’ll live then.”

“Yes. Please don’t worry too much. However, in her weakened physical and mental state… absolute rest is most important above all else.”

Matilda had been crying so much that Kian had sent her to Theodore first. As soon as he explained it concerned Vivianne, Theodore had willingly rushed over.

Kian felt terrible for what he’d done to Matilda as well.

Though Vivianne might wake up crying and thrashing, he decided to stay by her side. He couldn’t leave for fear something else might happen.

“I understand. You may go now.”

The physician bowed respectfully and left the room.

Only Kian and Vivianne remained. Despite being together, the room felt strangely empty, prompting him to touch her pallid face. Cold. Just like ice. She seemed more like a lifeless object than a living creature, though too beautiful to be a corpse—more like a porcelain doll.

Just yesterday she had been warm. Since her s*icide attempt, not even the slightest warmth could be felt in her skin. He couldn’t tell whether Vivianne was cold or his own hands had grown cold.

“Why…”

He paused after the first word escaped his lips, almost trancelike.

“…why did you do it?”

He never thought she would harm herself. He believed that if he didn’t push her too hard, if he gave her some time alone, she might get better… but that wasn’t the way.

I should have stayed by your side.

Even if you screamed that you hated me, I should have bathed you, fed you, dressed you… done everything with my own hands, like before.

Foolishly, he had made another wrong decision. His mind was filled only with regret for time that couldn’t be reclaimed.

“I’m sorry…”

He took out shackles and bound Vivianne’s ankles. Despite the harsh metallic sound ringing in his ears, Vivianne didn’t stir.

She used to hate being restrained so much. She would cry about feeling confined and beg to be released. Now she didn’t even express that much.

He knew it was selfish to keep her by his side. Even if he couldn’t win back her heart, that was fine. If he could just save her life, if he could just prevent her from turning into sea foam, nothing else mattered.

“To save you… I have no choice.”

Without this, she might harm herself again. Even after securing the shackles around Vivianne’s ankles, Kian anxiously checked multiple times to ensure they wouldn’t come loose.

Did it really have to come to this?

Though he questioned himself countless times, the answer remained the same. He would bind and confine her again and again. Self-loathing washed over him, swallowing him whole.

By my side, this is the only way you can live.

I bind you, and you are bound to me.

I beg you, and you resent me.

“I just don’t understand. No matter how hard I try… I truly don’t understand what you’re thinking.”

Kian just could not fathom her inner thoughts.

Perhaps it’s because he was fundamentally flawed. No matter how hard he tried to understand her, he kept missing the mark. Maybe it will always be this way. The thought drove him to the edge of madness.

Suddenly, Kian remembered the diary Vivianne had been keeping. Since the night of the full moon, she had been writing down fragments of her memories in a notebook.

Though he knew he shouldn’t, he had been reading it secretly. If he could find even the smallest clue about what she was thinking, he would do far worse things.

Opening the bedside drawer, Kian flipped through the notebook with trembling hands.

– I definitely had a tail then.

After Vivianne fell from the cliff and was swallowed by the sea, only the fact that she was a mermaid brought him comfort.

– All because of me.

– Ran away without the strength to protect.

No, it’s all his fault. He shouldn’t have made her run away. When she was by his side, he should have cherished and embraced her more.

– If I had taken Kian’s outstretched hand then.

– Would the baby still be alive now?

The baby was never important to begin with.

He only needed her. He only needed to save her.

The baby must have been Vivianne’s pillar of support. When she learned that the child was gone, she collapsed helplessly like a sandcastle swept away by waves.

– I should have stabbed Kian with that knife then. The contract would have been nullified.

– The baby would never have been conceived, never have died.

Tear stains blurred the writing, suggesting she had burst into tears while writing.

Pain like having his heart carved out alive washed over him. Then, a thick stream of tears rolled down Kian’s rough cheek.

– I couldn’t have killed him anyway.

– I loved him enough to offer my soul.

– How stupid, how pathetic.

Once the floodgates opened, tears fell endlessly down his cheeks, quickly leaving his face a mess of tear tracks.

She loved him. She loved him.

That’s a relief, at least. Even if just for a moment, she loved him.

That was enough.

Perhaps the strange sense of relief made him relax his guard. Sobs rose in his throat, making his breathing labored.

– In the end, it’s all my fault.

“In the end, it’s all my fault…”

Only after reading the tear-stained final page did Kian close the notebook.

“Still, what a relief.”

It truly is a relief.

Now at last Kian has found a way to save Vivianne.

Though his forced smile trembled, Kian’s face appeared considerably lighter.

* * *

Her body felt like it was sinking. In her hazy consciousness, Vivianne felt herself descending.

Was this heaven or h*ll?

Fairy tales said heaven was in the sky and h*ll was underground. This place was probably h*ll then.

Suddenly, a question arose in her mind.

What about underwater?

Underwater was neither above the sky nor underground.

So was it heaven or h*ll?

It felt familiar yet confining, and though she knew she couldn’t survive outside, she also felt like she was drowning.

Vivianne didn’t know how to define such a place.

Something warm and damp touched her forehead and cheek. Her eyelashes fluttered instinctively. As she slowly opened her eyes, she saw a beloved face along with dazzling sunlight.

“Are you awake, Vivi?”

Yes, this couldn’t be h*ll. She had met an angel.

“…Matilda.”

“Vivi, thank goodness. Thank goodness indeed.”

Matilda set aside the wet cloth and embraced Vivianne tightly.

Matilda’s embrace still smelled wonderful. As consciousness returned, her previously dulled senses gradually sharpened.

Her wrist stung, and looking down, she saw it wrapped in pristine white bandages.

The fact that she could feel pain confirmed she was indeed alive.

She had tried to die, but couldn’t even manage that.

Vivianne let out a bitter laugh from the sense of emptiness.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone…”

“No. It’s not Matilda’s fault… no. I’m the one who should be sorry.”

Whether from drowsiness or medication, Vivianne was still disoriented and swaying slightly.

“I have something to confess.”

Like a child in her mother’s arms, she hugged Matilda tighter and buried her face against her.

“What is it, Vivi? Whatever it is, feel free to tell me.”

“It’s about Baldwin. Marchioness Baldwin. I call her Madam… I told her she was like a mother to me.”

“Did you? She must have treated you well. She sounds like a warm person.”

“…Yes. I couldn’t remember Matilda. That’s probably why. I’m sorry.”

She kept apologizing while mumbling words that made little sense. Matilda gently stroked Vivianne’s head with care.

“What are you sorry for? It’s alright.”

“Matilda is just like a mom.”

“So the Marchioness is ‘mother’ and I’m ‘mom’?”

“Yes. I prefer ‘mom’ to ‘mother’.”

“What kind of talk is that? They’re the same thing.”

“No, they’re not.”

Feeling oddly hurt by the teasing, Vivianne shook her head firmly.

“Mother is nice, but mom is better. Because I like Matilda more.”

“I like Vivi too. Get better soon so we can go back to Baldwin. We’ll live there together—you, your beloved mother, and me, your mom. Alright?”

“Can I really go?”

“Of course. The master said you could leave once you regained consciousness.”

Permission had been granted by Kian. Initially, his intention was clearly to persuade Vivianne to stay longer at Larson.

His position was that she couldn’t be sent immediately to Baldwin because her memory had returned and she seemed too mentally unstable.

But seeing her become more precarious at Larson, he had apparently reluctantly given his permission.

“Matilda… will you keep a secret?”

“What secret?”

She nodded with her eyes crinkled pleasantly, clearly enjoying the conversation.

“That I prefer ‘mom’ is a secret from Madam.”

“Are you playing both sides between mom and mother, Vivi?”

Matilda deliberately joked while tickling Vivianne. She wanted to make her laugh somehow, and wanted to laugh herself as well.