I was already thoroughly sick of society, so did I really need to go out of my way to attend.

How should I decline? Refusing outright to her face would be rude. Should I say I was leaving the capital before then? But I had no desire to tell such an obvious lie.

I was still turning it over in my mind when Elren appeared at my side, bowed with quiet dignity, and answered on my behalf.

“Please send an invitation to Miss Lucian’s current residence, and she will reply.”

For just a moment, brief as it was, the bright smile vanished from Delmir’s face and a cold look took its place. She had recognized who Elren was.

“How nice to see you here.”

Delmir may have been the daughter of a duke, but she held no title of her own, which meant she could not speak down to Elren, who was both the emperor’s butler and a baron. So she quickly wiped the coldness from her face and greeted Elren with proper courtesy.

“I am assisting Miss Lucian with personal matters during her stay in the capital.”

“I see.”

Elren was known to everyone as Heliones’s closest aide and a man of real influence at court. Delmir seemed none too pleased to find him at my side, and her fair cheek gave a slight pout, but she soon returned to her usual smile.

“Very well. I’ll send the invitation in Miss Lucian’s name. It would be wonderful if you could make it, since it’s such a rare occasion.”

Delmir left the bookshop, taking her faint lingering scent of lavender and an unsettled feeling with her.

I would have been better off not going out at all. A pointless errand had landed me an unwelcome invitation. The last thing I wanted was to draw attention and cause trouble for Heliones.

“When the invitation arrives, I’ll decline politely. There’s no particular reason to let it be widely known that I’m staying in the capital.”

Delmir moved in society’s widest circles, so word getting out was only a matter of time now that she had seen me, but with Heliones having just ascended the throne, nothing good could come from his former wife making herself visible.

“You should go. It’s a rare opportunity.”

“Pardon?”

I was trying to think of a suitable reason to decline when Elren made an unexpected suggestion.

What was he saying? Wasn’t the fact that I was staying in the capital something that shouldn’t get out?

A witness meant the visit itself could no longer be kept secret, but he was actually telling me to attend a luncheon gathering at the Balthar ducal estate?

I had no desire to stir up trouble on flat, calm ground. Being the subject of people’s gossip was even worse.

All I wanted was to go home as soon as possible, chat with my students, and paint.

“If attending makes you uncomfortable, there is no need to force yourself. However, going in person and setting the record straight would be more effective at putting any rumors to rest.”

Ah, he had always been like this. Even when I was Duchess Gertil, Elren would always take my side first in that gentle, measured way of his, and only then say the sensible thing I couldn’t argue with.

Knowing the nature of Delmir’s circle, they would talk about me whether I showed up or not. But if I wasn’t there in person, there was every chance the story would get twisted and strange rumors would start circulating.

She was the type who would gladly sacrifice someone else’s reputation to make herself shine, so she would have no qualms about spinning whatever tale suited her.

Something like: Heliones had grown tired of me clinging to him now that he was emperor, and was using the pretext of reprocessing the divorce papers to shake me loose. Or: Heliones was reprocessing the divorce papers as a public announcement that he was now seeking his next empress.

When I was Duchess Gertil, Delmir had cultivated the estate’s servants to learn things about my private life, then added her own spin and spread it through society using Whitney and Dylan’s mouths. My worrying about this was not without reason.

I didn’t want to go, but having already been seen, going was the better choice.

I disliked rumors about myself, but I disliked the thought of Heliones being dragged into needless commotion even more.

When I returned to the townhouse, Heliones happened to be sitting in the parlor with one leg crossed over the other, composed and unhurried. I had been thinking I should speak with him at least once.

“I present myself before His Imperial Majesty.”

I had something to discuss, but the fact that Heliones had come in person suggested it was something important, so I greeted him and waited for him to speak.

Silence again. Right. Those lips of his had always needed considerable time before they would open.

Frustrating as it was, we were no longer equals, so waiting was the only option.

After a short while, a pale gray shadow fell over me.

I glanced up to see what it was, and Heliones was bowing his head toward me.

He had made things awkward by kneeling yesterday, and now this again today.

But I was nothing now, and I had no standing to tell the emperor what to do or not do, so uncomfortable as it was, I had no choice but to endure it.

“Did your outing go well? If I had known you needed something, I would have sent someone to purchase it for you.”

Noblewomen did not generally wander through shopping districts on their own. Before marriage there was some freedom of movement, but after marriage, the higher one’s rank, the more common it was for merchants to come directly to one’s residence.

It had been the same for me. Choosing groceries, curtains, and brushes with my own eyes had only started after my divorce from Heliones, when I began living alone.

It had started out of necessity, but comparing goods from different shops and weighing price against quality had gradually become part of my daily life, and something I enjoyed.

And while I was enjoying a brief spell of comfort thanks to Heliones, I would have to return to my ordinary life once I went home. There was no point in forming habits I would only have to give up.

“I find it easier to see things for myself before I buy them.”

“Is that so?”

Silence again. Ah, this was maddening. A conversation had already started, so speaking first would not be too great a breach of etiquette, would it?

“There’s something I’d like to discuss.”

At my words, Heliones’s gray eyes, which usually rested in a calm, watchful stillness, lit up and went wide.

His eyes were generally long and narrow, rarely opening fully because of his cool expression, so seeing them go round like that was rather striking.

“I ran into Lady Delmir of House Balthar at the bookshop.”

“……”

The moment Delmir’s name came up, the brightness that had just appeared in Heliones’s eyes smoothed over into polished indifference, as though it had never been there at all.

“She invited me to a tea party. I had planned to decline, but since she’s already seen me, I think it would be better to go in person and make sure no strange rumors get started.”

“Strange rumors?”

“Yes. Lady Delmir also met Baron Elren, so talk involving Your Majesty could come up. If rumors start connecting me to Your Majesty, that won’t do anyone any good, so I thought I should go and make clear that I’m only here for official business.”

“Ah, yes. Official business. Of course.”

“If it would cause problems for Your Majesty to have it known that I’m in the capital, I can go straight home. I’ll come right back as soon as the new divorce papers are ready to sign!”

I had said my piece, so I waited for Heliones’s response. He seemed to sink into thought for a long moment, turning something over in his mind, and then answered simply in that same fragmented voice I had heard the day before.

“You should attend.”

“Is that all right? Won’t it cause problems if people know I’m here? It’s already out, but if I leave right away, the rumors might still die down a little…”

“It’s fine. It was never a secret to begin with.”

“Oh, is that so?”

Come to think of it, I was only staying to sort out a potentially problematic divorce document. There was nothing to hide about that. If anything, word getting out that the emperor was actively moving to fully settle even a purely paper relationship would probably be met with open arms by most people.

Heliones let out a small sigh, looking somehow more drained than a moment ago, and pushed his hair back with a languid hand.

Was it really all right to attend? Should I not have gone out in the first place?

I was watching his reactions again. We were nothing to each other now, but the man in front of me was the emperor, and my shoulders drew in on their own.

“There is no need to consult me on every little thing. Whatever you do, wherever you go, do as you please.”

Heliones had always been like this. He always told me to do whatever I wanted.

Some wives might have envied that, but not me.

Heliones had no opinion about me whatsoever. He had no interest in the colors of my dresses, my hair ornaments, or the new furniture going into my bedroom.

On the rare occasion I asked for his thoughts, the answer was always the same.

‘Do as you wish, my lady.’

That answer had always been so hard for me. Even over small decisions, I would think and think again about what might inconvenience Heliones, what might rub him the wrong way, always turning things over from his perspective.

“I’ll try not to be a burden.”

The emperor was busy. A former wife attending a tea party was hardly a matter of importance.

It was embarrassing to have asked his opinion on something like this at all.

“A burden…”

“Why did you come, by the way?”

Heliones and I spoke at the same time. Heliones closed his mouth quickly, so I never heard what he had been about to say.

“You must have had a reason to come all this way in person, and I talked far too much. I apologize.”

Waiting for the emperor to speak was the proper conduct of a subject. He was not my husband, and I had rambled on too much.

This time, even if the answer took a while, I resolved to wait in silence until Heliones stated his business, and bowed my head. But no answer came.

“I’ll take my leave.”

“?”

I had just made up my mind to listen properly, so why was he suddenly leaving?

His words and actions made no sense to me, but the emperor had said he was going, so what could I do? All that was left was to see him off.

“Please take care on your way.”