9. Signs of Distortion (1)

“Kyiing…”

Saena woke to the feeling of something licking her forehead.

“……”

As her consciousness slowly surfaced, reality and unreality seemed to intertwine.

While her eyelids slowly opened and closed several times, her brain naturally traced back to her most recent memory.

“Ah.”

Just recalling the memory made her heart plummet and her body tremble. The darkness surrounding her felt suffocating, like it was constricting her.

‘Where is…’

Though it was too dark to see clearly, judging by the bed she had risen from, this clearly wasn’t the office, and by the feel of it, it seemed to be her own room.

“Kyung…”

Just then, something soft and furry rubbed against her cheek.

“Who… Yolly?”

It was Yolly. He tapped Saena’s forehead with his small bear paw, like he was saying, it’s okay. Strangely, the trembling that had enveloped her body gradually subsided.

“Ha.”

Saena groggily sat up and hugged Yolly tightly to her chest. Unusually docile for one who would normally struggle against such confinement.

‘Is this his way of comforting me? How did he know?’

He had always been keen to her emotions, so perhaps it wasn’t so surprising.

“Yolly…”

“Kyuung…”

She should have lived an unmarried life. But circumstances hadn’t allowed it.

“Did I make another mistake in marriage this time too?”

“Kyuuung…”

“I don’t know what’s what anymore…”

“Kyuuuung…”

Hugging and nuzzling the soft ball of fur for a long while seemed to improve her mood somewhat.

But perhaps because she had awakened in the middle of the pitch-black night to darkness all around, or because she was lost in thought, it was difficult to control the negative thoughts that kept growing larger.

Saena fumbled around to turn on all the lights in the room to make it as bright as possible. Having lost consciousness during the day, she seemed to have awakened at this awkward hour of the night.

“Haah…”

The space beside her was empty. Fortunately or not, Constantine wasn’t there.

Was he staying away out of shame? Or because he had satisfied his desires enough for today?

Though she didn’t particularly want to see Constantine right now, it felt strange that the man who always slipped into bed beside her late at night wasn’t there.

‘Just why… did he do that?’

Had he shown his true colors? Did he always have such forceful tendencies?

She seemed to recall hearing about men who somehow hide their bad habits only to reveal their true nature after marriage. Could it be something like that?

“No…”

The timing seemed too odd for that to be the case.

The moment she started unbuttoning, he had changed completely…

‘…Did I trigger his mysophobia?’

Could it be that she had unknowingly triggered his mysophobia, causing him to suddenly transform like that?

Though he always seemed unable to control his overwhelming desire when approaching her, he had never been a man who only sought his own pleasure…

Yesterday was different.

When she was flipped over and roughly taken without consideration, she was instantly consumed by memories of the past.

Her horrific marital relations with George Hollander. Those memories poured over her like ice water.

That’s how terribly he had treated her yesterday.

Enough to make her never want to share a bed with him again.

‘…I should suggest separate rooms.’

No, actually her room was already the Duchess’s room and he had the Duke’s room, so they already had separate rooms.

It was normal for noble couples to have separate rooms anyway.

The connecting door had always been left open by her, which had made that meaningless until now. (Castle Cream had a similar layout to the townhouse with connecting doors between the Duke and Duchess’s rooms.)

Glance.

Saena looked anxiously at the connecting door.

She worried he might barge in at any moment. She didn’t want to see him at all for a while. She was even a bit scared.

Though there were no major injuries besides dull pain, likely because he had treated everything with his precious potion while she was unconscious, she clearly remembered.

The pain of her nails tearing as she scratched the desk while crying. And how her consciousness had flipped and faded along with that pain.

The tips of her outstretched fingers were smooth as if nothing had happened, but just because the wounds were gone didn’t mean the memories disappeared too.

Saena clenched her fist and looked at the connecting door again.

She wanted to check if it was firmly locked.

Though he could enter through other ways if he was determined, that was beside the point. The connecting door she had kept open represented her heart. Now she was uncomfortable.

Quietly, she took a step.

Her legs trembled slightly as she slowly approached the connecting door. Checking the lock with fumbling hands, she confirmed it was securely locked.

Without realizing it, she let out a sigh of relief.

And as she turned to go back, she suddenly had a strange feeling.

‘…Did he lock this door?’

Of course, it locks automatically when closed, so he wouldn’t have needed to specifically lock it, but he must have closed it, right?

Like how he thoroughly hurt her then treated her with expensive potions, was this his way of saying he was done with her so close the door and disappear?

She felt strangely upset. Even while she knew her thoughts were approaching exaggeration, her skewed perspective continued to spiral.

‘What right does he have?’

Though she would have been more uncomfortable and resentful if the connecting door had been left open, and even scared and afraid, that’s how she felt right now.

Even while she knew it was irrational logic, she couldn’t help it.

‘Shouldn’t he at least wait here and apologize?’

Though she would have been startled if he had actually been in this room all this time, her complaints still felt that way.

She didn’t know why her heart felt this way. Perhaps in her completely skewed state, she needed someone to resent. And naturally, that target should be Constantine who had created this situation.

Saena suddenly wanted to check on him.

What he was doing now, what state he was in.

If she were to see him sleeping soundly after putting her in this state…

Though she wasn’t sure, something might change dramatically. Just imagining it made her wonder how he could do such a thing.

‘Have I encountered another husband unworthy of being human?’

Even the possibility made her shudder. Did she really want to see such a sight?

If it really turned out that way, what should she do?

Her slightly trembling hand pressed the unlock button and opened the door. The hinges were so well-oiled that it opened smoothly without a single creak.

“……”

Darkness peered through the slightly opened gap.

In contrast to her brightly lit room, a space as dark as the abyss lay beyond.

Her courage suddenly waned.

Saena swallowed once and grabbed the nearest lamp.

“Kyang?”

Yolly came running, tapping her calf. Seeing him shake his head, he seemed to be telling her not to go.

Should she? Should she not go?

‘But…’

Unless she confirmed whether her current husband was a second George Hollander or not…

Her emotions would likely stagnate and rot here, unable to move in any direction.

Then what would become of her determination to be happy this time, unlike before?

She didn’t want a life that ended in the same misery.

Step.

Eventually, she moved inside.

The circular light moved with her footsteps.

“……”

But making her tension seem foolish, there was no one there.

The bed was smooth without any trace of someone having lain there.

A strange sense of deflation came over her.

‘I gathered my courage to come here…’

As she shook her head lightly and turned to leave, a clinking sound echoed through the room.

It was the sound of something falling and rolling from the other side of the bed.

She froze for a moment in surprise. Fortunately, no other sounds followed.

What was it? Saena frowned as she looked beyond, but it was too dark to see clearly. She carefully took more steps, moving the lantern’s light.

“Ah…”

On the opposite side of the bed. Someone was there.

It was Constantine. He hadn’t been visible because he was sitting on the floor beyond the tall bed.

He had one knee raised with an arm resting on it, his head hanging down.

The floor around Constantine was littered with something—they were bottles. Not just one or two, but many. Now that she noticed, the smell of alcohol was overwhelmingly strong in the room.

Had he fallen asleep after drinking heavily…

“…Saya.”

Suddenly, her name escaped his lips.

Startled, Saena unconsciously took half a step back.

“…Kh, ugh.”

But it seemed he hadn’t called out because he knew she was there.

He made a pained sound as he buried his head deeper. His large body that was curled into a ball occasionally twitched. Seeing the man crouched under the bed covering his ears with both hands gave her an odd feeling.

Was he hearing things?

Come to think of it, he had nightmares before too. Did he have them often?

Various thoughts crossed her mind, but Saena couldn’t decide what to do and just stood at a distance watching him.

Perhaps because of what happened during the day, she found it difficult to approach him now.

“Huu…”

Then he made a choking sound and collapsed sideways.

The problem was that his bulk crushed whatever bottles or glasses were scattered on the floor, making something crack with a sharp sound.

What, what’s going on? Is he alright?

Saena was startled and put down the lamp, then approached him. It was a reflexive action, without time to recall her resentment toward him.

She tried to somehow grab and lift him, but his build was too large for her to handle.

To make matters worse, she could smell blood. He must have been cut by the glass, but she had no strength to lift him off the debris.

“…Ha, just go away…”

And then, his mumbled words pierced her ears. Her body froze at his tone that seemed to express utter weariness.

‘…Go away?’

Her hands lost strength in shock, causing his body that she had partially lifted to fall back to the floor. Shatter. The sound of glass fragments being crushed made her flinch again reflexively.