“You shouldn’t be straining your arm like this yet…”

She worried seeing the muscles in his forearm tense.

“Can’t… anymore…”

“What?”

Constantine muttered something to himself before pulling her sharply. In an instant, he claimed her lips.

“Mmph?”

Unlike his skin, his mouth was hot. So hot that she felt herself growing hot from his breath.

His invading tongue seemed to heat up the inside of her mouth.

A strange feeling, as if heat was trapped inside, unable to escape his body.

While she didn’t understand everything, he clearly seemed to be in pain, so Saena didn’t push him away and accepted his touch. Hoping some of her body heat would seep into him while they were touching, she held him tightly.

* * *

It felt like an incredibly sweet dream.

Constantine woke up feeling unusually well-rested and indescribably satisfied, despite this clearly not being the time for such feelings.

“Mmn.”

A soft musical whimper reached his ears, a sweet scent of flesh filled his nostrils, and his hands were full of something silky soft yet plump. He reflexively squeezed what filled his hands, savoring the sensation.

“Mmm…”

Another pretty m*an.

This seemed too vivid to be a dream…

He could feel his lower half already making its intense demands known.

“……?!”

He reflexively withdrew his hands in shock. He opened his eyes wide to examine what was in his arms.

It was definitely… Saena.

His bedroom. She was in his bed.

‘…Why is Saena here?’

Regardless of his thoughts and questions, his other self that had already risen to full attention was eagerly poking at her bottom. Perhaps uncomfortable from this, she shifted a few times before rolling over. Then she snuggled into his embrace and wrapped her legs around his waist.

“Mm… it’s okay now. Let’s sleep more.”

She seemed to be patting him soothingly in her sleep.

“……”

So… this wasn’t a dream or hallucination…

His face flushed hot.

What in the world happened last night? He didn’t even know why she was here when she should have been in Aberdeen territory…

Her current state was almost impossible to look at directly.

From the bite marks scattered across her neck to the handprints spread over her white skin. Her swollen, reddened lips, the disheveled underdress revealing everything underneath.

Judging by the cloth pieces on the floor, it seemed he had completely torn apart the dress she was wearing…

‘…I can’t remember.’

This was maddening. Could he have possibly… forced himself on her again?

What’s worse, the soft sensation his hands had been touching until just now still lingered, driving him even crazier.

Crazy bastard. Insane fool. Deranged idiot.

Though he hurled every insult at himself, he still couldn’t find the courage to leave this place.

He wanted to stay like this just a little longer. It had been so long since he’d touched her… and she didn’t seem to hate him…

‘Ah… that’s not the issue.’

Her like or dislike of him wasn’t the core problem.

There was a time when he had desperately wished for her to feel even the slightest affection for him… but now he knew.

He absolutely must not do that.

‘She wasn’t actually okay.’

So he couldn’t just indulge his selfishness at the cost of her life.

Even if she came to hate him (which would be truly painful), it would be better than her dying.

But somehow she was in his arms again…

‘Caligo, you bastard…’

Constantine sighed deeply as he traced back yesterday’s memories.

He had felt chilly from having so much blood drained. The last thing he remembered was fainting, feeling like he was dying in the cold.

Though he wasn’t sure, it seemed she had helped him again.

It made his skin crawl how greedily Caligo had sucked and absorbed his blood, like he’s making up for all the time without blood.

The bastard had even twisted the wounds to keep them from closing, but the problem was he had no strength to stop him. He had looked absolutely voracious as he deliberately gorged himself.

Usually he would have been excitedly chattering away.

But Caligo’s voice was quiet. Because he was touching Saena.

If she knew that this contact was shortening his lifespan… would she still be able to sleep so peacefully by his side?

Deep self-loathing crossed Constantine’s face.

“Ah!”

In the middle of his thoughts, he froze in shock. She had wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer while burying her lips against his chest.

Hot breath tickled his chest as her small hands roamed his back. The sensation made his hair stand on end all over his body. Of course, his lower half that he had just managed to calm sprang back to attention.

“Mmn.”

This was maddening. This hopelessly kind woman… always drove him crazy. Even her unintentional touches and glances always made him want to pounce on her.

But if she acted like this…

To stop his hands from reaching out unconsciously, Constantine clenched his fists with all his might. Thud. The sound of wounds reopening on the back of his arms suddenly brought him back to his senses.

‘Right. Yesterday’s wounds weren’t treated…’

Constantine started to lift his arm to examine the wounds but stopped.

A strange scene flashed through his mind. Saena… extending her red tongue to lick his wounds…

‘…Was that a dream?’

Or a delusion? Had he really gone mad? Surely that couldn’t have actually happened.

Haah. Whether it was real or delusion, that scene seemed to light another fire in him, fanning his urge to part her flesh and enter her right now.

‘This is my limit.’

He felt like he would lose his reason if there was even a little more stimulation.

Constantine carefully extracted the slim arms wrapped around his waist. Though the feeling of her skin against his palms was so pleasant that the movement was very slow, he couldn’t stay like this.

These were sensations he would eventually have to let go of.

“…Ahhh!”

But Saena suddenly jerked awake with a shout.

“……”

Her arm was still in his hand. They met each other’s gaze, aware of this ambiguous standoff.

“…I was about to let go.”

“What? Oh, my arm?”

Constantine hid his regret as he gently released her arm.

Thud. The fall of her arm felt like the severing of their connection. He swallowed hard.

“The medicine! We should have applied the medicine before sleeping!”

So that’s why she had woken up with that cry. Even in this situation… what a diligent woman.

“Where is it? You know, that potion. The blue-green one?”

“…It should be in the drawer of the bedside table.”

As soon as he finished speaking, Saena jumped up and brought the potion.

“Let me see your arm.”

“…What?”

“Hurry. What in the world did you do to get wounds like these? They looked like someone deliberately cut them. Was it really a demonic beast that hurt you?”

It seems the wounds looked strange even to her who didn’t know their true nature. Well, with long cuts only on both forearms, it would seem odd.

Though her consideration in finding and applying the medicine herself was appreciated, he couldn’t let her touch him anymore. He was barely holding onto his thin thread of reason as it was, and this would be too much stimulation.

Especially while the afterimage of her tongue still lingered whenever he looked at these wounds.

“…Give it here.”

“What?”

“I’ll do it myself.”

Looking at him holding out his hand with a strangely rigid posture, Saena’s expression gradually fell.

“I see you’ve… regained your awareness that you shouldn’t be close to me?”

“……”

“You were completely opposite last night.”

…What exactly did I do?

He felt both regretful about not remembering and like he shouldn’t know.

“…I apologize. It seems I wasn’t in my right mind…”

“You only seek me out when you’re not in your right mind, Duke.”

“……”

Since he thought it could never happen in reality, that must be why.

The effects of his chronic insomnia were severe. Especially yesterday… it could have been really bad.

“Then… you don’t remember confessing to me either?”

…What? For a moment, he froze like ice.

Confess? What? Did he spill everything with his own mouth?

Even as Saena looked at him in surprise at his coldly rigid appearance, he simply couldn’t compose his expression.

It’s over. This is the end.

Constantine lowered his gaze, feeling as if someone was slowly turning his body to stone.

“You told me…”

“……”

“You confessed to me.”

What exactly? About Caligo? The secret?

Unable to meet her eyes, he swallowed hard.

“That you…”

That he was killing her?

“Like me. That I’m lovely.”

“……”

Like… what? L-love?

That confession was that kind of confession? I did that, to Saena?

Constantine felt his breathing stop.

Saena looked at him, frozen like a statue, with strange eyes before speaking, like she’s spitting out the words.

“Ugh. I’m joking.”

“……”

“I completely understand that we shouldn’t touch each other, so I won’t tease you about this.”

“……”

“The medicine—it’s just your arms, not your back, so fine. You can apply it yourself, right?”

“……”

“Then I’ll be going… Constantine?!”

Plip plop.

“W-why are you…?”

Saena’s hand stopped just before reaching his face.

Because suddenly, large teardrops began pouring from his eyes.

“Was… was the joke too much? I’m sorry. Just… you seemed not to remember, so I got spiteful…”

Ah. So that’s it.

He thought he just wanted to be near her because she was someone who could make him feel human.

He thought his possessiveness came from her ability to suppress Caligo.

All these feelings—the urgency, the anxiety just from seeing her, the constant desire to touch her… he thought it was just because she was his first woman.

But now he knew.

Thanks to this, he understood his own heart.

These feelings that he could never act on, never speak of from now on.

These feelings that must never be conveyed.

The moment of realization brought pain rather than joy.