Constantine stepped into memories of a time he least wanted to recall.

Though the fragments of the past that gradually leaked from his lips brought back the pain of those times and tormented him, he succeeded in maintaining an indifferent tone.

“The previous Duchess who bore me. She never held me. And as a child, I didn’t know why.”

Constantine’s father, the previous Duke who particularly dreaded Caligo, made it his life’s goal to quickly produce an heir and pass on the Guardian Spirit.

So he broke even the taboo passed down through generations of the family.

He broke the taboo that succession work must not be done before fifteen, starting Constantine’s succession when he was only eight years old.

It was originally designed to be a five-year process, starting at age fifteen and continuing until just before adulthood at nineteen. However, the previous Duke initiated it at age eight, and the process extended far beyond the intended five years.

Because Constantine was too young to fully embody the process.

He… writhed in pain, cried, collapsed, and suffered while screaming like a madman.

Because the previous Duke ignored the reason such taboos existed, what should have taken 5 years if started at fifteen took 9 years to complete.

From Constantine’s perspective, he only felt double the pain and became a broken person.

‘No, from the previous Duke’s perspective, he succeeded since he started the succession process 3 years earlier and gained freedom that much sooner.’

Whether Constantine’s childhood disappeared in pain and tears or not, his father never wanted anything from him besides the succession of the covenant anyway.

Yet after passing on all the Guardian Spirits and losing his power, he couldn’t bear his own powerless state and died early from his reckless behavior.

“…If not for my nanny, I don’t know what kind of person I would have become.”

That Constantine managed to grow up with something resembling humanity in such an environment was entirely thanks to his nanny.

The previous Duke never treated him as more than ‘the one to inherit his burden’, while the previous Duchess treated him like some kind of germ and shuddered at him.

Of course… his birth mother wasn’t always like that.

Though not extremely affectionate, she did look after and touch the child she bore from her own womb to a reasonable degree.

That was until he started the succession.

But when the succession began and a chill started running through Constantine’s skin, when he started crying and whining almost daily from the pain of engraving the patterns and the mental instability caused by Caligo’s thoughts invading his mind, her attitude quickly changed.

Especially after several incidents where she jumped in shock at the chilling cold she felt when holding her son and pushed him away, she heard something from the Duke and from that point on, far from holding him, she started treating him like a monster.

The rejection he started receiving from his birth mother before he was even ten completely broke him.

If not for his nanny, and if his body had been even slightly less robust, he might not be in this world now.

“My nanny…”

The nanny was the only person who would hold and comfort the crying little boy at that time.

“She held me every day in place of the previous Duchess who would never hold me.”

She was the only person who would hold and comfort the small boy who cried from being pushed away like an insect even by his own parents when they came close.

She was the only one who taught him what the comfort of human warmth felt like. Her embrace was warm, the only embrace that child could run to, and an unparalleled warmth and affection in the world.

But that’s not to say the nanny didn’t feel the cold from him.

“As a child, I didn’t know. I clung to my nanny even more to make up for the lack of parental love, and at some point, she started becoming very sensitive to cold.”

She clearly felt the cold. But she never showed it.

Whenever young Constantine came crying into her arms, she offered her embrace without hesitation.

“No matter how much we lit the fireplace, brought in dozens of braziers, or filled the bed with hot water bottles… she remained cold.”

If he had known beforehand that the warmth he received in those days was exchanged for her lifespan, would the young him have been able to avoid running into his nanny’s arms?

He doesn’t think he could guarantee that.

“She is… dying because of me, because she loved me.”

At barely ten years old, it’s no exaggeration to say that his nanny was the last bastion that kept him human and the final barrier that prevented him from breaking.

“Her illness is my fault. If not for me, she would still be healthy now.”

Slowly he… confessed to her.

The final secret.

The story of Caligo that he never wanted to tell her even if he died.

“So…, all of that was because of the Guardian Spirit? Caligo?”

“The patterns on my back… are to control Caligo, and Caligo uses darkness as its power. Because of that, a deadly chill flows over the skin where it’s imprisoned.”

“……”

“And this chill… affects not just me but others as well.”

When the cold and chill become severe, it damages health and eventually eats away at lifespan.

He added in a monotone murmur.

“So you… should stay away from me.”

Constantine blinked several times at his vision that had unknowingly started turning black, then stood up from his seat.

Now, it was really… all over.

There were no other expectations, no other goals.

He just bit the inside of his mouth and focused on empty space.

“Is that what you just realized?”

“……”

“If you knew from the beginning, why did you marry me?”

Though it was an expected question, when she asked like this, his heart lurched.

To his ears, it sounded like an accusation asking how he could have done this if he knew.

“I’m sorry. Though it may sound like an excuse…”

He firmly clasped his hands together to hide their slight trembling.

“I thought you would be fine.”

“Why?”

“Unlike others, you didn’t seem to feel the cold from me.”

“That’s true.”

“Yes. That’s why I think I turned a blind eye too. That you would be fine… I desperately clung to that thought. And you had the aura of protection, which made me even more convinced.”

“…The aura of protection?”

Constantine explained to her about the aura he had felt since their first meeting, and how Oathkeepers couldn’t hide their identity from each other.

“…Really? Me?”

But she seemed unaware that she had such an aura. Her face showed complete bewilderment.

Well, even he only sensed the aura but couldn’t figure out how she possessed the power of a Guardian Spirit without having one…

But Saena’s expression soon turned quite serious.

What thoughts could make her wear such an expression? Had she found some clue?

“That aside…”

Her purple eyes turned to him again.

“Then why did you change your mind and decide you shouldn’t touch me again?”

“…Because of Yolly.”

“What about Yolly?”

“The protective aura emanating from Yolly and you is the same.”

“…What?”

Another surprised face.

Constantine explained that Yolly seemed to fall asleep in response to the nanny’s illness.

“So there’s no guarantee that you’re safe either.”

“……”

Her complexion turned slightly pale.

She finally seemed to realize it. Just how dangerous her actions had been all this time.

And now she would become wary of him, right?

Even though he deliberately created this situation, it wasn’t easy at all.

Constantine felt the urge to clutch his chest at the tightening sensation in his heart, but he barely resisted. Instead, he clenched his teeth. Though the flesh he had been biting inside his mouth was crushed and blood spread, he preferred that pain.

Because the metallic taste of blood reminded him of his position in real-time.

Constantine slowly rose from his seat.

The Duchess’s room that carried a scent similar to Saena’s fragrance. The bed where he had fallen asleep with her and greeted the morning together.

All these things felt like places he could never see or enter again.

To avoid looking too closely, he blurred his vision as he turned. He struggled not to stagger as he walked.

Though it was his own decision,

Nevertheless,

These steps leaving her room,

Felt like departing for a world where spring would never come.

He felt cold.