The next day, the palace was bustling in the morning. It was because of the news that the princess of Gorgon had finally entered the duchy. Gifts to win the princess’s favor also came in endlessly, filling the spacious hall completely.

Carriages lined up waiting, servants pulling out gifts from the cargo compartments, butlers and knights urging them on. The excited commotion continued in succession. Among them, only Herot worried all day long, watching my mood.

But she wouldn’t know. That I’m already seeing this scene for the second time. In the past too, we welcomed the princess of Gorgon just like now. Without anticipating the coming catastrophe, we gladly welcomed her. However, back then I had a valid reason too.

Yes. Because of that child. Yours, mine, our very own child.

Ah, my Arthur!

My breath suddenly caught as I recalled that name. An unworn corset seemed to tighten my chest, making me pant a little.

Arthur.

That name is both joy and pain to me. My vision turned bright red then returned to its proper color several times. It was agonizing like being thrown into boiling hellfire. That fire burned me without restraint, then repeatedly stepped back while persistently circling around me.

Aah. Odil.

I wanted to transfer this fire exactly as it is to your chest too. I wanted you to feel this despair and sorrow I’m feeling just as I do. If only I could revive my child by offering that pain and anger and regret as sacrifice! I would gladly offer thousands and hundreds of sacrifices to achieve it.

Just half a day since waking, after pressing Herot to confirm the date over and over, I immediately ran out of the room searching for the child. After learning the fact that Arthur didn’t exist, I cried like a madwoman for three days. After staying shut in like that, I received your visit yesterday.

Only then did it feel real. That I had truly returned.

However, not only the child’s absence but also my sound mental state felt equally unfamiliar. The past me suffered from an unidentifiable madness after giving birth to Arthur. At first, I thought emotions had simply intensified as a result of pregnancy, but the symptoms only worsened over time.

Naturally, my reputation plummeted rapidly. Gorgon quickly brought in the Holy Kingdom to attack me like that. They said the grand duchess had been forsaken by god. That she was lost in heresy and couldn’t come to her senses.

The rumors had no source or basis, but the Holy Kingdom didn’t deny them. Far from denying it, they took Gorgon’s side and condemned me as a non-believer. The absurd recommendation to bring in the princess of Gorgon as a tutor to enlighten the prince since they couldn’t recognize a heretic’s bloodline as heir was a bonus. All while burying the open secret that that very princess was the illegitimate daughter of a Holy Kingdom cardinal.

It was the first time I’d seen you so angry. You were so furious you seemed ready to wage war.

But Odil.

I was already a mother by then. The child’s smooth future came before my reputation. Moreover, Gorgon’s military strength had already far surpassed ours to the point where victory couldn’t be predicted. Even if we were lucky enough to end in a truce, what would be the benefit? Would the impoverished duchy citizens look kindly upon us? It would be fortunate if they didn’t blame us as the cause of war.

No, actually, blame toward me was fine. I could accept it as much as needed. But blame toward the child, ah. I didn’t want to imagine such a thing.

So I persuaded you. I simply trusted your faith. I expected that like the white lilies stuck in our bedroom with blessings, your and my love would also remain unchanged.

……Do you know, Odil?

I still endlessly regret that moment. That I shouldn’t have done that. That even if I truly went mad and strangled myself, I absolutely should not have done that.

“It’s fine. More than that, that woman, where is she sick?”

Curiosity suddenly arose. Now there was no child to use as an excuse, so I was curious about the reason the princess requested to stay in the ‘memory’ of this place that I don’t know.

“His Highness said she was born with a weak constitution.”

“Nonsense.”

It was a trite excuse to the point of being tiresome. Recuperation, really.

“If she’s so weak, it would have been nice if she just died on the way here. Wouldn’t you say?”

But the room was quiet. Even that silence seemed to defend the princess, making my insides boil. Actually, it probably wasn’t entirely a delusion. Among those in this room now, the only person who didn’t betray me in the end was Herot alone.

“Ha!”

But the moment I realized that, ironically, my anger rapidly subsided instead. Isn’t that right? These stupid and foolish things don’t even know what they lost! Arthur! That child who sparkled like stars and was lovely as a dream was the only light in this castle!

“I’m displeased, so everyone leave.”

The laughter that burst out without warning finally stopped slowly after a while. The maids who had forgotten propriety and looked at me like a madwoman busily composed their expressions and left. Herot looked like she wanted to follow and scold them somehow. But what could be done? It was already too late.

The doctor who visited again a few days ago still diagnosed my condition as delirium. He declared that I was injured in the head from the shock of the fall and wasn’t sound, and no one could know when I would recover. A few timid maids already seemed to fear me. Well. If calling out the name of a child I never gave birth to and searching for them isn’t strange, that would be stranger.

And so, just one month. The rumor that the grand duchess who came back from the dead had gone mad spread quickly, causing a stir in the castle.

But my mind is clearer than ever. It was even sound enough to make me wonder if I’d ever been this refreshed in recent years. At least that’s how I felt myself. Enough to remember even old stories I had forgotten.

You know too, don’t you, Odil? The ancestors of Richentina who passed down their bloodline to me were all powerful mages. Now that all mysteries have faded, it’s treated merely like an interesting oral tradition, so in the past even I couldn’t recognize the reason for the madness that came to me.

But now it’s different. Once I realized it, everything became newly visible like removing a blindfold. From when my ‘omen’ began, to why the current me could be in a ‘sound’ state. Everything fit together perfectly like it was woven.

The returned me was a new piece of that perfect puzzle. The size fits, but the color and shape are completely different.

And some time later, the princess’s party arrived.

“Your Grace. You must go out now.”

The evening of the day the party arrived. The place was noisy with the scheduled welcome party. Cheerful music had been heard from outside since daytime, and Herot in the mirror urged me with an anxious expression while glancing outside. Since you would be a bit late due to an urgent inspection, I had to enter first today and preside over the banquet.

I didn’t want to go, but it seemed difficult to delay any longer. I eventually stood up carefully so as not to ruin my newly tailored dress and stood before the mirror. Herot, stuck close behind me, neatly draped my smooth hair like woven gold thread over my shoulder.

Looking at my appearance in the mirror, I briefly fell into old thoughts while touching the end of the ornament dangling near my chin.

These beautiful earrings with seven peridots embedded between gold chains are your seventeenth birthday gift to me. You gave them to me with an embarrassed face, saying my eyes were even more beautiful than the spring forest dyed light green with new sprouts.

Recalling that time, I boarded the carriage with a dreamlike feeling. However, as the banquet hall drew closer, such feelings soon disappeared completely with the cheerful music growing louder. Stupidly. I had forgotten who this banquet was for.

“It is my first time meeting you, Your Grace. I am called Louisa Sistina.”

Yes. This woman. The princess of Gorgon.

The princess stood in front of the banquet hall’s massive doors. My stomach twisted at her arrogantly upturned nose. I quickly lowered my gaze, feeling like I’d do something if I looked at her face any longer. I didn’t even want to accept her greeting, so I tried to pass by the princess as is. That’s when it happened.

“Urk.”

My stomach suddenly churned and nausea surged. It was a repulsion incomparable to the unpleasantness I’d just felt. It seemed to go beyond the realm of simple emotion, closer to an innate rejection.

Every hair on my body seemed to stand on end. The instinctive warning that I wanted to—no, had to—escape this place quickly made the back of my neck prickle.

I dry-heaved and staggered back a couple steps. Because of that, the background hidden behind the princess’s back briefly entered my view. Only then did I know. What the source of this stench was.

“Here you are. Princess. And Your Grace. I greet you. I am called Balaktis, a humble servant of god.”

The lantern’s crimson light slid down over the smooth cloth, hovering around the party like a subtle halo. Honestly speaking, that scene was quite pious, and everyone present seemed to lose themselves for a moment.

Of course, except for me.

I unconsciously twisted my upper body to distance myself from the priests. Because of that, I ended up closing the distance with the princess instead, but it felt much better than being near those things. Good lord. How revolting!

“Welcome, Balaktis! I thought my neck would fall off from waiting.”

The princess welcomed them as if she’d been waiting. Her face spread wide, as though relieved to have allies, was irritating. At least the nausea subsided a bit, which was fortunate. However, as soon as I met eyes with Balaktis at the front again, this time all my skin started to sting like I’d been burned. The unprecedented rejection made my head ring. I felt like I couldn’t endure it like this, so I hurriedly gestured to the gatekeeper.