When our relationship had twisted beyond repair, talk of an engagement with Clea came up in the family. 

Before leaving for the academy, I’d expressed my intentions to my parents first, and Father said he’d been dreaming of this day ever since owing his life to Count Blanchet.

“So when do you think would be a good date?”

I wanted to proceed with the engagement ceremony right away. Back then, I was consumed by base possessiveness and didn’t want to allow those pretty eyes to hold anything else. If I could hurry up and make her mine and confine her to the estate, she’d only look at me.

But would I really be satisfied with that? Could I endure watching you wither away day by day in that cursed life? When I’d never again see your smile that shines brightly like sunlight.

So I postponed the engagement ceremony with all sorts of excuses. Harboring the futile hope that we could return to how we were before.

Then she developed feelings for someone. It was a completely unexpected shock.

‘She can like someone other than me?’

I’d thought it had to be me. What an arrogant thought that was. At some point, her eyes had been following that man. Just like when we first met. That fact made me unbearably angry.

“Should I just kill him?”

If the person she likes dies each time she develops feelings, someday she might come to love me. Wishing for my death, resenting me that much. 

Even if the emotion at the end of that wasn’t love, I was confident I could accept anything.

But before that, I wanted to know why Clea liked that pale b*stard. What’s so great about him? Whether in looks, family, or ability, I’m far better. So I went to find him abruptly.

“Hey, let’s be friends.”

Friendship was truly a useful tool. It was good for identifying the opponent’s weaknesses and targeting their back when they let their guard down.

“Friends?”

“By the way, if you refuse, I’ll kill you right here. If your life isn’t precious, go ahead and try.”

Rather than looking disgusted like I was crazy, he laughed like it was interesting. Then he extended his hand to me and offered a handshake.

“This is the first time in my life I’ve received such a murderous greeting. Alright, let’s be friends.”

His name was Schwein. He was so famous at the academy that I’d heard of him at least once. A great angel descended to earth or something. A ridiculous nickname.

‘So what if he’s better than me?’

Dismissing it like that must have been the problem. If I’d known he’d catch Clea’s eye like this, I would have dealt with him naturally.

Watching Schwein up close, I couldn’t find a single similarity to myself. 

He preferred books over swordsmanship, and with a personality that couldn’t easily pass by troubling situations, he always helped others. On top of that, when he saw small, cute animals, he’d lose his mind and follow them.

“Why does she like someone like this?”

He was a person who lacked what I considered manliness. That said, he wasn’t reliable enough to protect someone either. The more I knew, the more I couldn’t understand what part of him Clea had fallen for.

But Schwein as a friend was better than expected. He didn’t try to use me for his own benefit, and he keenly read others’ emotions and acted appropriately for the situation. 

Also, his ability as a strategist was excellent, so when I needed help, I’d sometimes ask for his thoughts.

‘I should postpone k*lling him for now.’

That day was one of those days. Whether to let good friend Schwein live or erase him like he never existed in the world. It was a dilemma I’d been having for four years now, coming to Schwein’s house whenever I didn’t have knight order training.

“It’s too wasteful to kill him now. Should I let him live a bit longer after all?”

While lying in bed with those thoughts, I suddenly heard a rustling sound. It grew closer and before I knew it, had approached my bedside. The moving sound was irritating, so I couldn’t lie there any longer and snatched it up in my hand.

“What’s this now?”

I got up to check its identity. When I drew the curtains, a beam of light entered the room. The thing caught in my hand was barely the size of my palm. It had fluffy white fur and a thick tail.

“Why is there a rat in the estate? Don’t the servants clean?”

The question was brief. The creature with round eyes froze in place, seemingly tense. Seeing how it couldn’t breathe or even blink, something was off.

“But why isn’t this moving? It seems to be alive though.”

Its expression became urgent, like it understood my words. Then it made a hesitant crying sound.

“Squeak, squee…?”

It was quite clever for a mere rat. On top of that, those pitch-black eyes staring intently at me held some inexplicable resentment. Its expression also seemed somehow filled with indignation. It reminded me of someone I knew.

‘Clea?’

I didn’t know this rat’s identity, but I felt like tormenting it for no reason. It was fun how its expression changed at every word I said.

“Now you finally look like a rat. That aside, what punishment should I give for waking me from my nap?”

The rat’s already large eyes grew even larger. It was clearly reacting to the word punishment.

“Should I throw you to the cat in the yard as a toy?”

The creature’s body trembled finely. I barely held back laughter.

“Or… giving you to Kilbarons as a snack seems good too.”

Checking the rat’s expression, it now looked ready to cry. It shook its head with a desperate face, like it wanted anything but that.

“Well… if you perform some tricks in front of me, I’ll consider sparing you.”

I looked forward to what it would show me. I placed the rat on the bed and waited. Having finished deliberating, it stood on two legs and started dancing randomly.

Its short legs moved dazzlingly. Its fingers constantly poked at the air without staying still. Then it attempted a confident forward roll but couldn’t go far before tumbling sideways with a thud. I couldn’t hold back my laughter.

“Your effort is commendable, so shall I spare you?”

Color returned to the rat’s face. Its head shook up and down like it would fall off. Anyway, everything became clear. This wasn’t a rat but a person in rat form. Or something similar.

“But why does this rat seem to understand what I’m saying?”

The creature seemed to realize its mistake then. Its black bean-like eyes rolled around, seemingly pondering how to overcome this situation. A hollow laugh escaped at that sight.

I observed the suddenly appearing interesting toy with intrigued eyes. But then the rat started breathing heavily, staggered, and collapsed onto the blanket with a plop. At a glance, something seemed wrong.

“What’s wrong all of a sudden?”

I poked the collapsed, panting creature with my finger. Then it trembled. Soon there was a poof sound, and the rat on the bed disappeared, replaced by a n*ked Clea.

Feverish heat rose in her face. She writhed and breathed heavily.

“Haa, ngh, hnn…!”

“Hey, you…!”

What on earth is this? Have I finally gone crazy? It was a scene I couldn’t believe was real. Then Clea pleaded with me with a face ready to cry.

“M-me… do something…!”

That pitiful voice and expression couldn’t be a dream. Considering Clea, who was normally far from magic, that commoner she hung around with must have done something.

‘What was she thinking pulling such a bold stunt? Knowing what would happen.’

Clea had always been like this. Even while being docile, she’d occasionally do unpredictable things that made me anxious. Even if I could dismiss it as cute before, this exceeded acceptable levels.

“You really…”

The target was probably Schwein. Since he loses his mind over cute animals. The boiling blood felt like it was cooling.

“What should I help you with?”

“My body is so… hot…”

“Where.”

“D-down there…!”

Clea, sobbing in agony and crying with a lewd face, was maddeningly beautiful. Even if I devoured all of that and tasted everything, I didn’t think I’d be satisfied.

At the same time, fury rose at the thought that another person might have seen this. You’re mine. You should be mine alone. My already rotten nature twisted even more.

“I don’t really understand when you say down there. Here?”

Sweet liquid flowed from the narrow gap. I barely held back the desire to spread the pink petals and suck up every drop of the flowing stream. 

When I circled the area with my finger, Clea panted with a helpless expression.

She swayed her hips pitifully at the touch that almost reached but didn’t. Her body twitched, hoping my finger would probe inside, but I withdrew my finger just before touching.

“You need to explain in detail, Clea.”

Her pink eyes filled with despair. A pleading voice flowed from her mouth.

“Below… the very inside. It’s strange. Ngh…”

At her honest words, I thrust my finger inside the squirming hole. That place was warmer and softer than I’d imagined. When the thoroughly wet flesh seemed to melt and swallow my finger, her delicate body trembled.

“Hngh…!”

“…F*ck.”

How am I supposed to endure this? 

I’d tried to handle it with composure, but I nearly lost my mind instead. Just inserting one finger made my heart pound so hard I almost came like I had premature ej*culation.

‘Pathetic b*stard.’

Now even my c*ck was going wild, swelling taut. At this rate, I might take her as I pleased like a dog in heat. For Clea, who’d never experienced a man, I had to somehow maintain my reason.

“I don’t know how to be gentle. Is that still okay?”

At the following answer, I kissed her gently. And that day I embraced Clea. It was the moment when hellish reality transformed into a sweet dream. The more I took her, the more helplessly I fell, and I couldn’t even imagine a life without Clea by my side.

I’ll never let you go. Because you were the one who jumped into the open cage yourself.

I realized once again at this moment. That I can’t live without you.