Chapter 11

“Max.”

A black mass running over the green grass caught her eye. A creature that had never existed in the Meyer household entered her sight. A large dog with glossy black fur streaming behind it as it ran toward Johannes. The animal held a stick in its mouth and sprinted at full speed toward its master. Thud. It struck Johannes in the chest with its forepaws. Johannes fell helplessly back onto the lawn, hugged the dog to him, and laughed wildly. The man’s laughter, shining especially brightly beneath the blue sky, pierced Judith’s ears. She stood there blankly watching him, then suddenly scowled. She had only just managed to drive Johannes out of her head, and now she had gone and let him into her sight. She could not exactly repaint a wall she had deliberately torn down.

Judith stomped into the garage, jammed the key into the black sedan, and turned it. She irritably opened the car door and sat in the driver’s seat, but her racing heart would not calm. Even her breathing was rough. She rubbed her cheek harshly with one heated hand and squeezed her eyes shut. It had not been this painful when she had been living without seeing him. So why had he come back just to torment her again? Once she secured the old book, she ought to live in the school lab until Johannes left again.

Grrr. With the low rumble of the engine, the sedan left the garage and pulled out onto the road. Judith tried with all her strength not to be conscious of Johannes rolling around on the grass with the dog.

“Judith!”

At that moment, Johannes came into view, springing to his feet on the lawn and waving his hand. His disheveled hair danced over his pale forehead. His eyes, like softly glowing violets, glittered in the side mirror. Judith inhaled sharply and let the breath out as though burned by the gaze of Johannes reflected there. Pretending not to see him, she pressed down hard on the accelerator. The sedan quickly sped away from Johannes. Watching him shrink into a dot in the side mirror, Judith whispered,

“Please, get out of my life. Stop tormenting me.”

For everyday life to become a nightmare was the worst thing of all. The lingering attachment of desiring what could never be hers was just as unbearable. Fine, let her admit it. She could no longer see Johannes Meyer as a friend. For Judith, ever since thirteen years ago, Johannes had not been a friend of ten years, but a man. And not only that, but a shameless man who had taken her first time without any feeling at all.

* * *

Placing an advertisement in the newspaper was easy. Anyone could place one if they had the money. Only, the size of the ad space varied depending on the amount paid.

“Will you be running this advertisement just once?”

“If it’s one-time, does that mean it only appears once?”

“Yes. You can proceed with a one-time ad, but I wouldn’t recommend it. With advertisements, the effect comes when they’re posted steadily over a set period.”

The woman with glasses perched on the bridge of her nose answered absently while busily typing. Judith looked around the bustling newspaper office and said,

“Ah, I think one month should be enough.”

“And for the ad, you can choose full-page, five-column, or nine-column placement. Most personal ads are usually run in five-column. The advertising effect is good for the price.”

“Then I’ll take the five-column.”

“So, five-column placement and a one-month period, correct?”

“Yes. That’s right.”

“And the ad wording will be ‘Seeking a Man,’ correct?”

“Yes. Please do it that way.”

“I’ve seen ads looking for laborers or housemaids, but this is the first time I’ve seen one looking for a man. Well, it is fresh enough that it’ll draw attention. The application is all complete. Once the payment is made, we can have the ad run as early as tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow would be good.”

Judith briefly frowned after seeing the numbers the newspaper clerk had written on a blank sheet of paper. For using just a bit of newspaper space, the price was high. Still, if it was for the old book. Judith took bills out of her handbag, counted them, and held them out to the clerk. The newspaper employee counted the bills, then carefully handed her the change and receipt.

“Then have a good day, Miss Loewe.”

The clerk checked the wording that would appear in the advertisement once more, then gave her a meaningless smile.

“Have a good day.”

Judith rose from her seat and greeted the clerk. Only then did the clerk lose interest in Judith and return to her work. The clatter of typewriters and rustling paper, loudly ringing telephones, and constant voices. The newspaper office was in sheer chaos. Judith clicked her tongue at the sight of the place running without a second to breathe. She had only watched for a moment, but cold sweat had already broken out. Judith hastened her steps, eager to escape from a world that did not suit her.

* * *

A week had passed since the loud, blunt advertisement about seeking a man had appeared in the newspaper. The news she had been waiting for never came, and all she had gained were people’s stares.

Judith had come out into the city to buy materials needed for document restoration, and she was now feeling the full force of the advertisement’s impact with her entire body. Every passerby covered their mouth and followed her with their eyes.

“That’s her, right? The woman who says she’s looking for a man.”

“Yes. I don’t know what she’s thinking, doing something like that without a shred of shame.”

“Well, twenty-eight is an urgent age. She has to get married, doesn’t she?”

“I feel sorry for Madame Loewe. To have such a troublesome granddaughter dumped on her.”

“Still, I heard she used to be pretty and clever when she was young.”

“Even now her face is decent enough. It’s just that the way she acts is so gloomy and strange.”

“That’s true. If I had a face like that, I’d have charmed all the men in Bayer.”

I can hear every word, you know. Judith raised the collar of her coat, straightened her back, and passed by them. She had prepared herself for this, so she had to endure it. But she had not expected even her grandmother to be spoken of badly. I’m the one who caused this, so why drag my family into it? People who loved to talk also loved to exaggerate, but she wished they would leave her family out of it. Her heart was not at ease, feeling as though by stirring up needless trouble she had made even Grandmother into someone to be pitied. But what else could she do? If she wanted to keep King Pirap’s old book from being handed over to the museum, she had to do whatever it took. More than anything, she could not bear the sight of a page of that old book ending up in Johannes’s hands. The moment the crooked thought began to creep into her head that none of this would have happened if her grandmother had simply agreed to leave her the old book, Judith shook her head from side to side. Don’t blame others.

“Hoo.”

Judith forced strength into her legs as she endured the glares of the crowd lining the street. The distance to the shop felt especially far today. Her head kept drooping down. The weight of all those gazes clinging to her whole body was hard to bear. In the end, she bowed her head completely and walked looking only at her feet. As her assistant had said, she really should have sent her to run the errand to the shop. Because she had spent all her time shut up in the lab and never came outside, she had known nothing of how the world was turning. Her assistant, who came to the lab every day, must have heard it. The rumors about the strange young lady of the Loewe family. Judith could not understand what was in people’s hearts, the way they spilled out old stories as well just because of one advertisement saying she was looking for a man. It was not as though she had committed some unforgivable crime, so was it not too much to treat her like a sinner? Her insides were festering, but she had no courage to speak out. Even while thinking that avoiding things was better than fighting, the dissatisfaction boiling inside her only grew.

“You look like someone being dragged off to the slaughterhouse.”

Thud. At the weight touching her shoulder, her gaze naturally turned. Johannes, sparkling in the sunlight, stood there with a hand on Judith’s shoulder and a bright smile on his face. Judith blinked slowly and looked at her friend of ten years and enemy, who was holding a folded newspaper in one hand and waving it lightly.

“You’ve stirred up something rather interesting.”

I didn’t do it for your amusement. Biting back the words gathering in her mouth, Judith slapped away the hand Johannes had draped over her shoulder.

“It’s dangerous too.”

Ignoring that, Johannes used the hand she had swatted away to catch hers instead. Her face flushed with surprise at the hand abruptly seized without warning.