Something hot and hard drove into her from below. Sasha threw her head back, clutching at the sheets. It hurt. And it made her sad.

Tears streaming down her face, she clung tightly to whoever was holding her. He whispered something in a low, tender voice. She couldn’t make out the words, but she could tell he didn’t mean to harm her. His touch was warm and gentle, and even when he pushed painfully deep, he carefully watched her reactions.

More than anything, she trusted him. Her body burned hot and the pierced part throbbed with pain, but she wanted him so badly she could endure it all without a second thought.

Pleasure climbed up her spine and exploded in her head. Sparks flashed before her pitch-black vision and her stomach clenched so tight she could barely breathe. Drenched in this unfamiliar ecstasy, animal-like moans spilled from her lips.

Once she seemed somewhat adjusted, he raised his upper body and gripped her hips firmly with both hands. And then it began. Pleasure without end, without limit.

But…

‘Why does this feel so sad?’

These weren’t instinctive tears from rough treatment. Even while being shaken senseless, she fumbled for his hand and grabbed it. She knew by intuition. This person—he was the one who would pull her out of her sorrow.

His large fingers and her slender ones interlocked without a single gap. For some reason, he seemed immensely pleased by this and didn’t let go the entire time he moved his hips.

She felt the same way. More than the feather-light kisses that landed on her ears and lips, more than the touch that ground against the sensitive flesh between her legs, more than his member that thrust roughly inside and led her to the peak of pleasure—the hand clasped firmly in hers felt more reassuring. It put her at ease.

And so… she grew even sadder.

* * *

Today, too, he came at the crack of dawn and took my hand. The familiar warmth pulled me up from deep sleep, just like always.

“…You’re here?”

“Yes.”

Still drowsy, I mumbled the words clumsily, and he smiled brightly. I stared at him blankly, then quietly turned my head away.

His dazzling silver hair and deep blue eyes that brought the ocean to mind—his appearance brightened even the dim background. Looking at him made me imagine what a mess I must look like having just woken up.

That wasn’t all. Seeing him stirred something strange in me, and I felt terribly embarrassed. It probably had something to do with the dream I’d had the night before. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember that dream.

When I tried to pull my hand away, feeling awkward, he gripped it even tighter and whispered tenderly, just like he always did.

“You’re beautiful. I’ve never seen anyone as lovely as you.”

“…”

As usual, I had no reply. He tilted his head to look at me and continued.

“So don’t turn away. When you avoid me, I feel so lonely.”

“…Yes.”

When I reluctantly nodded, he seemed satisfied and rubbed the back of his hand under his chin. I glanced at him sideways and thought to myself.

Such an obvious lie. Even the maids standing in a row over there are several times more beautiful than me.

If “beautiful” included refinement and elegance, I should be standing at the very end of the line. But I couldn’t tell him not to make empty compliments. I knew it would sadden him.

I stared at him intently.

‘What could he possibly find so wonderful about me?’

Unaware of my thoughts, he seemed content just to meet my eyes. The corners of his mouth relaxed and he let out a silly laugh. I swallowed a silent sigh.

‘I’m sorry.’

It was a feeling I couldn’t show outwardly. One day, not long after I’d woken up, I’d said it carelessly and watched him crumble.

Why had he reacted that way to a simple apology? I’d been too flustered to think about it then, but looking back, it was definitely strange…

I gazed quietly at him as he caressed my hand like it was some precious treasure. Somehow, it left a bitter taste in my mouth.

‘I don’t remember a single thing about him… Doesn’t that bother him?’

After a long illness, when I finally opened my eyes from my coma, he’d been staring at me with parched eyes.

My memory had vanished cleanly, like a whistle blown across an open field. He’d called my name cautiously, and when I didn’t respond, he realized what had happened.

For a moment, he wore a strange expression—seemingly both anguished and relieved. But it was so fleeting I wondered if I’d imagined it. Soon his face lit up brightly with joy that I’d awakened.

That’s right. Even though I remembered nothing and the whole world felt pitch black, his affection alone shone blindingly clear.

And yet… my heart raced wildly, like someone afraid of heights dangling from the edge of a thousand-foot cliff. The moment I opened my eyes and first saw him, I was seized by inexplicable terror.

As I trembled and broke into a cold sweat, he whispered to me.

‘It’s okay.’

‘…’

‘I… I’m fine with this. No, actually, this way is better…’

I slapped away his outstretched hand as tears welled in his eyes. He was dangerous. My instinct—the one thing that remained in the place where everything else had vanished—screamed it.

His face twisted miserably at my wary gaze. After staring at me for a long while, he muttered like he was talking to himself.

‘It doesn’t matter what you’re like. As long as you’re alive, I…’

Picking up words I couldn’t possibly understand, his lips trembled. The turbulent emotions he displayed made me forget my own situation—reduced to a blank slate—and I stared at him blankly.

I’m the one who lost my memory, so why is he acting like he’s lost everything?

He leaned back against the chair and slowly dragged both hands down his face. Then, unable to speak for a while, he finally let the words spill out in a whisper.

‘If you just stay by my side… If you just do that…’

The moment I heard those words, my breath caught. It felt like lying in a coffin fitted perfectly to my body, watching dirt pour down onto my face.

I gasped and clutched at my chest. My vision was growing hazy…

He slowly rose from the chair. Then, with a gaze as bleak as a cold wind, he glanced briefly at me before turning away.

‘Attend to the Empress with utmost care.’

The maids bowing in unison and the door closing behind him—that was my last memory of the day I woke up.

“Your Majesty the Emperor. Baron Jorden has arrived.”

“Is it that time already?”

He looked regretful as he let go of my hand and raised his large frame.

The door opened and a short man with a timid appearance shuffled inside. The Emperor stepped back beside the bed and allowed Baron Jorden, the imperial physician, to examine me.

Perhaps nervous because of the Emperor’s sharp glare, the baron’s fingertips trembled throughout the examination. I frowned slightly.

“I’d prefer if Your Majesty waited outside.”

“…Empress.”

At my words, his face looked like the sky had fallen. But I turned my head away, ignoring him. The physician looked between us, at a loss, then spoke carefully.

“The examination is complete, so Your Majesties need not worry. The Empress’s body is nearly fully recovered. As long as you continue taking the medicine I’ve prescribed, there should be no problems.”

“Nearly fully recovered?”

The Emperor immediately seized on the words, his face murderous.

Looking ready to charge him with the crime of not healing me perfectly right away, the physician turned pale and looked at me pleadingly for help. I sighed and spoke up.

“You just need to take the medicine? No further examinations are necessary?”

“That’s correct.”

The physician eagerly grasped the lifeline I’d thrown him. I looked straight at him and asked clearly.

“What you’re saying is that I have no problems producing an heir, correct?”

For a moment, both the Emperor and the physician froze. I looked at them in confusion, then frowned slightly. Did they think I wouldn’t notice the examinations focused on that area?

‘The physician is one thing… but why is he so shocked?’

After all, isn’t the greatest duty of an imperial woman to produce an heir? Why does he look so frightened…?

Suddenly, I felt strange.

‘Were he and I… not as close as people say?’

At that thought, my heart sank. Perhaps noticing my mood, he quickly changed the subject.

“It’s truly fortunate that the Empress’s health is improving. Bring the medicine at once.”

“Y-yes, Your Majesty.”

The physician hurried out of the inner chamber like he was fleeing. The Emperor glanced at me, then avoided my eyes and said:

“I’ll return this afternoon. Rest until then.”

“…What?”

By the time I came to my senses, he was already gone. I was bewildered—this was the first time he’d fled like this since I’d woken up. He always left the inner chamber reluctantly, only after being urged repeatedly by his close aides.

Then a gentle but cold voice reached me.

“He must have much work piled up, so please don’t feel slighted, Your Majesty the Empress.”

“…”

I turned to see a maid with brilliant golden hair twisted up on both sides, gracefully lifting a water bowl. I quietly called her name.

“Natalie.”

“Yes, Your Majesty the Empress.”

My ever-composed and elegant head maid. Natalie, so beautiful and refined she wouldn’t be out of place as a grand duke’s consort—or even as Empress. I gazed at her steadily and spoke.

“Did I truly love him?”

“…!”

In an instant, Natalie’s hand slipped and water spilled over. She barely regained her balance and turned to hand the bowl to another maid. Then, with a serene face that showed no trace of her earlier disturbance, she answered.

“The two of you knew only each other, like noble wolves. Through any temptation or trial… you cherished only each other.”

The moment she finished speaking, the other maids rushed to add their own words.

“He even gave you silk imported from the distant East—the only bolt in the entire Empire—to use for Your Majesty’s nightgown. His Majesty the Emperor is truly devoted.”

“There’s even a joke that all the Empire’s treasures gather in the Empress’s palace.”

“When Your Majesty lay ill, he nursed you at your side without missing a single day. It’s a very famous story in the Empire. Where else could you find such a devoted husband? Especially when he’s the exalted Emperor himself. Every woman on the continent envies Your Majesty so much.”

Natalie, who had been listening silently to the maids’ chatter, showed a faint emotion on her face before it vanished. I stared at her intently.

Was it longing? Or displeasure?

My mouth opened before I knew it.

“Natalie, do you have a fiancé?”

“…”

Natalie’s face hardened. She bit her lip slightly, then answered calmly.

“I don’t, but it seems I’ll have one soon.”

“That’s cause for celebration. Let me know when the date is set.”

Natalie bowed her head wordlessly. Just then, the door opened and the physician entered with the medicine. Natalie took the tray with the medicine bowl and approached me.

“You must be tired. You should rest after taking your medicine.”

At my words, Natalie spoke with what seemed like anticipation.

“The mage is scheduled to arrive soon. Should I send word for him to come another day?”

My head snapped up. Was that today? Feeling my heartbeat quicken, I shook my head quickly.

“No, leave it. I’ll rest after I see him.”

“…Yes, Your Majesty the Empress.”

Natalie held out the medicine bowl with steam curling up from it. Her expression wasn’t very pleased. I pretended not to notice and drank down all the bitter medicine.