Chapter 3.6

“Oh my.”

Amina, stepping out of Leticia Evris’ house, let out an exclamation as she spotted a figure waiting for her from a distance.

“How long have you been waiting?”

“What brings you here?” 

Karl Lavresion asked sharply. His golden eyes gleamed with a cold, piercing light. Amina felt an intense curiosity mixed with doubt at the sight of her son’s gaze, something she had never witnessed before.

“Why are you so angry?”

“I asked why you’re here! What did you say to Leticia?”

“What could I have said? Nothing much. Are you this upset just because I went to see her?”

“Mother. Since when did you care so much about my affairs to act like this?” 

Karl Lavresion grabbed Amina’s shoulder roughly. She winced in pain, unable to understand her son’s behavior.

“If you’re so emotional about it, why don’t you go see her yourself right now? Instead of venting your anger at me.”

Karl’s eyes widened. The grip on her shoulder tightened. Amina let out a small scream, twisting her shoulder in pain.

“This isn’t like you! What’s gotten into you?”

“What’s gotten into me? Mother, have you ever once tried to empathize with someone else’s feelings?”

Amina’s face twisted as if she had heard something utterly absurd. Karl let out a hollow laugh.

After that day, Karl Lavresion gave up expecting anything from his mother. No matter how open-minded Arhadan might be about matters of the heart, his mother’s actions crossed the line. Not only was she unashamed of being with her lover’s illegitimate child even in her son’s presence, but she acted as if it were entirely natural. Her behavior was both inconsiderate and nonsensical.

Over time, he became certain. His mother was not just self-centered but interpreted every situation solely from her own perspective. As a result, she neither accepted nor tried to understand situations or emotions that didn’t align with her views—including his.

He had thought himself strange for trying to mimic their ways, but deep down, he had always known. The problem lay with his mother and Asar. Even so, he had tried to change himself to fit in with them.

In the end, it was all an act. He hadn’t truly changed.

“What are you suddenly talking about? Of course, I’ve empathized with others before.”

The strength in Karl Lavresion’s hand weakened. Amina’s expression, as she claimed she had, was as light as a feather. He felt as though all the blood in his body drained to his feet.

Is this what it feels like to talk to a wall?

“Anyway, you should start preparing to leave for Arhadan. That girl doesn’t seem to have any intention of going with you.”

Doesn’t seem to have any intention…

Karl lowered his gaze. Even though he understood it in his mind, he couldn’t help feeling upset.

“I’m leaving soon, too. Which means you can’t stay here any longer.”

Karl’s lowered eyes shot back up.

“What?”

“I’m tired of Chevrem now. I want to go back. It’s too cold here; I can’t even dress properly.”

“Are you done with the Emperor?”

“He’s not fun anymore.”

“Ha…”

He let out a low sigh, raising and then lowering the corner of his mouth. His hand, which had been wandering in the air, brushed back the hair falling over his forehead, only to mess it up further.

“There’s no reason for me to stay here anymore, Karl.”

“…”

“I really have to go back.”

Karl’s face contorted. The end of what he had been postponing and postponing was now in sight.

He had to go back.

To Arhadan.

Without Leticia Evris…

The strength drained from his clenched fist. He had already known this. He had just been avoiding it, running from it.

“If you return to Arhadan, you’ll be able to forget.”

Will I be able to forget?

Karl couldn’t be sure. It had taken him so long just to realize his own feelings—how could he be sure of forgetting? A bitter smile spread across his face.

***

She still hadn’t replied to Hans. It was already the fifth time she’d picked up the pen, only to put it down again.

Time continued to pass. Though she knew Karl Lavresion was leaving, knowing didn’t change anything. She would continue living her daily life here, and he would return to his country to live his.

But still…

She moved her aching wrist and let out a small groan. The pain had worsened.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been in pain for a while now.” 

A coworker asked with a worried look. She forced a smile and assured her she was fine, but she had a feeling that if she  kept working like this, her condition would only get worse. In the end, she left the afternoon shift to her coworker and headed to the hospital.

At the hospital, she briefly explained her situation and the pain she was experiencing. The elderly, white-haired doctor nodded and pressed a specific point on her wrist. Before she could think, a sharp cry escaped her lips.

“Ah!”

“Oh dear…”

The doctor shook his head.

“You said you gave birth to twins? A woman with such delicate bones giving birth to two children at once—it’s no wonder your body is in such poor condition…”

He then examined her other wrist. Again, she let out a cry of pain.

“It’s not just your wrists. Your bones are weak overall. You should be resting, not working. Why did you even start working?”

The doctor clicked his tongue and applied a herbal remedy to her wrist. Though it felt warm, it didn’t seem enough. The medicine she used daily at the Solar Palace wasn’t like this…

“Here, this is a painkiller. You should stop working. If you keep it up, it’ll get worse to the point where you won’t even be able to move…”

Stop working? It was like a bolt from the blue. It had only been two months since she’d opened her shop.

“But…”

“If you want to ruin your body, go ahead and work. Do you want to walk around groaning like an old woman while you’re still young?”

She bit her lower lip hard. In the end, she couldn’t ask the doctor anything more and left with a month’s supply of herbs and painkillers.

She had clearly overestimated her body. She thought she was fine now. The thought of giving up on the work she had poured her heart into made her vision go dark. But her rational side knew. At the very least, she needed to reduce the intensity or hours of her work.

Reluctantly, she decided to hire one more person, limit herself to working only in the mornings to make desserts, and leave the afternoon shift and closing to her staff. Still, she tried to think positively. It meant she’d have more time to spend with her twins.

When Mia found out she was resting in the afternoons, she came over with Ariel to visit.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. I think I just overdid it.”

“I was worried watching you. You didn’t look well.”

She gave her an awkward smile. The children were outside with Ariel, drawing pictures in the yard with sticks. She quietly watched the scene through the window. Mia, who was sitting beside her knitting, looked at her and spoke.

“Leticia. Something’s bothering you, isn’t it?”

“Huh?”

“You look like you have something on your mind.”

Her emotions often showed on her face. It wasn’t surprising that the perceptive Mia noticed. But talking about Karl Lavresion and everything that had happened… even thinking about it made her heart race. She couldn’t predict how she might react.

“The stationery on the table—it’s been there every time I’ve come over. Who are you trying to write to?”

Mia was sharp. Feeling as though she’d been caught, Leticia stammered before eventually nodding.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t read the contents, but I saw the name of the recipient. Is Hans the father of your children?”

“No, no! Hans is Karl’s subordinate…”

As soon as she brought it up, she realized her mistake. Mia quietly looked at her. The name Karl Lavresion was one anyone interested in gossip or who read the newspapers would recognize. He was a member of the Imperial Family from Arhadan and the son of the current Emperor’s mistress. Moreover, he had been the subject of sensationalized scandals with her in lower-tier newspapers.

“Do you miss him?”

She couldn’t answer. She simply stared blankly at Mia.

“You look like you miss him, Leticia.”

At those words, something welled up inside her. Tears gathered in her eyes. Before they could fall, she quickly lowered her head and wiped them away.

No, separating from him was the right thing to do. Staying with him would only make her suffer more. She couldn’t trust him. She couldn’t just believe his words and follow him to his country.

But…

She knew. She understood. Yet, she still wanted to see him. In truth, she didn’t want to part with him. Foolishly, she wanted to trust him. Even though she was fully aware of how her mother had lived, even though she had witnessed firsthand how her mother’s obsession with love had destroyed her, she still wanted to love.

What was so special about love?