Ariana thrashed about, clutching her pillow in sheer humiliation at having her lie exposed—but it was too late. She had no choice now but to accept it.
More importantly, Kenneth also remembered their past life.
‘So that’s why his eyes looked so different…’
But what had he seen, to make them so utterly desolate?
She had always thought that once the burdensome wife and daughter were gone, he would live a happier life.
“I stayed there. I planted violets.”
She felt certain those words could not possibly be a lie. Yet when she’d asked how he had died, his answer had been maddeningly vague:
“I carried out my duty—and then I died.”
For a noble, duty always included continuing the family line. Ariana had long known that nothing mattered more to Kenneth than restoring the ducal house. Remarrying after her death, fathering children—that had always seemed the obvious progression.
But the more she thought about it, the more contradictory his answer became. Still, once spoken, words could never be hauled back into one’s throat.
‘Did you regret it, even belatedly, in those days…?’
She screwed her eyes shut, struggling to picture Kenneth in the moment before she pulled the trigger. The man who had smirked at her right up until the shot—regret? The brutal scene blurred in her mind, and she cursed that she couldn’t recall his face in that final second.
Yet when she remembered the Kenneth who had raged like a wounded beast—“Why didn’t you just kill me then?”—she understood. The pain she’d seen in him could not have been feigned.
Curling up, Ariana hugged her pillow tight.
‘I forgive far too easily…’
She was annoyed at how readily she opened her heart the moment someone showed her the slightest kindness.
Still, after pouring out every last shard of resentment, her heart felt like a glass polished clear—ready to be filled with something new. Embarrassing as her thirst for affection was, she couldn’t deny it.
‘And… I already let Kenneth bathe me, didn’t I…?’
Back then she hadn’t even regarded him as a man. Exhausted from childbirth, she’d shown her body without a second thought. Now she could hardly believe how casually she’d treated the moment.
She tried to remember where those large hands had touched her. In the steamy bathroom of this house, he had lathered her nape, the foam trickling down her back.
It hadn’t stopped there, either – she had stood before him with her chest completely bare. She had been so numb that even when his hand swept carefully upwards beneath the curve of her br*asts, her body didn’t react at all.
Now, however, as her skin recalled that contact, heat flared up from deep within her, as though the memory itself were scorching her.
Ariana squeezed her knees together as a prickling warmth spiralled up the insides of her thighs. At the time, she blamed the fever and let it pass, but now she was certain he had reacted too — the outline straining against his trousers had been unmistakable.
They had even bathed together at the hotel. She could still feel the solid heat pressing against her back. Hadn’t they done indecent things in the bathtub at the Empire as well?
‘Oh, this is mortifying.’
She buried her face in the pillow for what felt like the hundredth time, ready to die of embarrassment. She had clearly been out of her mind that day. How was she supposed to look Kenneth in the eye now, when there was still so much she needed to ask?
***
Much to Ariana’s flustered dismay, Kenneth didn’t resume their conversation where they had left off that day. He said he had memories to sort through and matters to settle before they spoke again. While Bibi was ecstatic at the prospect of spending the day with Kenneth, Ariana became increasingly anxious the calmer he seemed.
“Zho-zepp! Zho-zepp, will you come again tomorrow?”
“Of course. Is there a treat you’d like?”
“Cream puffs! Bibi wants a cream puff—one as big as Zho-zepp’s fist!”
Unable to stop her daughter from openly demanding sweets, Ariana watched Kenneth’s face, looking for any sign of displeasure.
‘’Strange…
Bibi still called him ‘Joseph’, and he made no move to correct her. He must surely understand everything by now.
Ariana had expected him to assert his rights as Bibi’s father immediately, demanding that they discuss how the three of them would live in the Empire.
Yet he said almost nothing the entire evening, though a quiet longing flickered in his eyes whenever he looked at her or Bibi.
‘Why?’
The question kept her pacing all night.
True to his word, Kenneth appeared again the next day. Having secured her cream puff, Bibi ran off triumphantly into the garden. Ariana and Kenneth were left alone in the parlour.
She sat warily at the far end of the sofa. The memory of standing n*ked with him in a steamy bathroom felt painfully vivid, and she couldn’t bring herself to look up. When they first met again, she had tried to see him as nothing more than a large, intimidating man. But now… everything felt different.
That same body had once carried her everywhere: on a cruise ship, into bedrooms, and into the study. It had held her close, driven her to the brink of pleasure and left her half-senseless with tears and heat.
Remembering those moments made her feel so embarrassed that Ariana awkwardly blurted out,
“Should we talk now?”
“Alright.”
Before speaking, Kenneth reached over and brushed her forehead.
“Do you still have a fever?”
“Ah—n-no.”
Ariana jerked back, shoulders shrinking. Her voice nearly vanished from sheer embarrassment.
“It’s just hot, that’s all…”
“If you’re tired, we can move to the bedroom—”
“I’m really fine. Please… just tell me what I need to know.”
“Then this may sound abrupt, but you’d better go into hiding for a while.”
“Pardon? Why?”
She had expected him to bring up their previous life—yet hiding?
Kenneth’s expression was grave, no hint of jest.
“To put it simply—after your death, the Empire was pushed to the very brink of war.”
“Ah… I see.”
“But the conflict died down once Andrew’s location was revealed.”
Ariana nodded slowly. ‘Serves him right,’ she thought. If it hadn’t been for the war, and if that monster had disappeared, would Kenneth still be alive?
Yet his eyes were as bleak as winter.
“Just when we thought it was over, the Arlo Conclave spread across the continent, causing chaos.”
“Were those people active even then?”
“Yes… They even infiltrated the Empire and caused trouble.”
Ariana had heard rumours about Labelle Department Store, so she wasn’t entirely shocked, just dazed. Truthfully, she was more curious about what had happened to Kenneth after her death, but his sombre expression prevented her from changing the subject.
“Sir Baptiste did say it wasn’t a serious threat… didn’t he?”
“It’s just a precaution for now, but there are suspicious signs. That’s why I want you and Bibi to leave this place for a while.”
Even with his eyes wide open, they had managed to hide Andrew in the southern lands, and countless lives had been lost because of it. He could no longer place complete trust in his own country.
“For now, go to another city in Duvris. Somewhere rural would be safer in this situation.”
“…”
“There’s no need to make that face already, I’m not trying to scare you.”
“But still…”
“It’s just me being overly cautious. I’d rather you be safe than sorry if there’s even a chance of danger.”
Ariana bit her lower lip, feeling uneasy.
He spoke so gently. But why wouldn’t he tell her who he had lived with since her death and how he had lived? Why was he being so careful?
Even mentioning that group made her feel uneasy. If Kenneth was this wary of them, they must be dangerous. Had he confronted them himself?
What happened to him after that?
As Ariana fell silent, overwhelmed by her tangled thoughts, Kenneth, watching her closely, changed the subject. Assuming she was simply frightened, he tried to lighten the mood.
“Come to think of it, you’re not wearing your earrings again.”
“Ah, that’s…”
She awkwardly reached for her ear, her fingers fumbling. Before she could remember that they had already had this conversation, she was speaking again.
“They kept getting blocked, so I just stopped wearing them…”
“…”
Ariana’s cheeks flushed bright red the moment she finished speaking.
She was talking about her earring holes closing—but somehow it sounded far too suggestive. Worse, she vividly remembered when they’d had this exact exchange.
At Hotel Blaise. Wearing a new dress, standing in front of him, trembling—
“While you’re away… please make sure I don’t feel lonely.”
What had happened after she tried to seduce him so clumsily?
Ariana’s mouth went dry as she remembered it, and she cautiously glanced up at him. Was she the only one overreacting?
Would it be less embarrassing if it really were just her?
But the moment their eyes met, a sharp, sudden shiver prickled across her skin like static.
No, it wasn’t just her.
Translator
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE
StarlightCaster
What? I expected Ariana to feel more resentment towards Kenneth. Did she forget that he brought her despair to her death???
This embarrassment and desire felt like came out of nowhere
(Thank you for the translation)