Chapter 85

That day was December 10. Ashton ate with Sabina as usual and drank his medicine in front of her.

Sabina hated the fact that Ashton had hidden so much from her. So she wanted to see everything he did. Ashton didn’t show her the underground workshop, but he did everything else with her, without complaint—drinking medicine, showing her his bruises, everything.

Then he kissed Sabina’s cheek, gritting his teeth, to comfort her.

Suddenly, he said,

“Go home today.”

“No.”

Sabina’s reply was immediate. But today, Ashton was just as stubborn.

“I won’t die just because you leave for a bit.”

“I can’t trust you because you’ve lied to me too much.”

They exchanged glances.

…More precisely, there was a battle of wills.

And Ashton was never someone who could win such a battle against Sabina. He sighed and rubbed his face.

“I’m serious. I wish you were a mage who could read my mind, honestly.”

“I wish I could, too. I’m so curious about what’s in your head.”

Sabina wiped her lips with a napkin and replied calmly.

“I’ll believe you when you say you won’t die. But it’s suspicious. Why are you suddenly trying to send me home?”

Ashton rested his chin on his hand and stared at Sabina. He looked like he didn’t want to answer. Sabina hated that expression the most.

She scoffed. Her sarcasm had grown rich in the past week.

Her tone had become sharper, too.

“Can’t you tell me?”

If not for the hatred that sometimes surged up and dominated her, she wouldn’t have pressed Ashton so hard. She wasn’t a mean person.

Ashton could always break the spell of hatred surrounding Sabina. If Helio could break Ashton’s magic, surely Ashton could break Helio’s magic too.

But he didn’t.

Sabina seemed to welcome the hatred—or rather, the love she discovered through that hatred. She was sharper than ever, and constantly irritable, but paradoxically, she seemed happiest now.

Sabina’s pale fingertips traced the man’s jaw and neck. Her thumb gently pressed his Adam’s apple. It felt like she was choking him. Ashton lifted her hand and kissed her thumb.

“Tell me. Why are you trying to send me home?”

“Because there’s something I don’t want you to see.”

Sabina laughed sharply.

“That’s exactly why I’m here—to see it all.”

“I don’t want to look pathetic.”

“You say you don’t like it, so I like it.”

Ashton shook his head as if he had no choice. He didn’t show the cheerful, sly side he had when they first met. Maybe he no longer had the energy to create that persona.

Was this helplessness closer to his true nature? Or was it just impossible to judge anything while sick? Sabina stroked his cheek.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head in his chest.

“Why, what don’t you want to show me?”

“Seizures.”

He whispered, pulling Sabina’s head close.

Sabina flinched.

The progression of the illness and the side effects of the daily medicine brought terrible pain. Ashton called it a seizure. If he didn’t drink the painkiller made from dangerous ingredients, it wouldn’t subside.

“I want to see.”

Sabina spoke without hesitation. Ashton whispered after a long silence.

“…Okay.”

His face was tense as he allowed Sabina to see his vulnerability. Wherever he went in the house, he always carried the black medicine bottle. If he sensed pain coming, he’d take it immediately.

Seeing him almost neurotically carry the medicine made Sabina a little uneasy. She wanted to see the bottom he so desperately tried to hide. She wanted nothing left hidden.

As Ashton grabbed the medicine bottle he’d left on the desk in the morning, Sabina hugged him from behind.

She opened her palm upward—a gesture asking for it.

Ashton spoke in a cracked voice.

“No.”

“Why?”

Sabina asked, though she knew the reason.

The moment he handed over the medicine, the right to control Ashton’s pain would pass to Sabina.

Ashton hated being in pain. Who would like pain from illness? The pain was so intense that his reaction to it was extreme. So he swallowed dangerous medicine without hesitation.

But if he gave this medicine to Sabina—to the one who hated him—

Ashton turned to face Sabina.

She was changing more dazzlingly day by day. Her silver eyes, sparkling in many colors when they caught the light, were now filled with persistence and intelligence, and her expressions grew more varied. Sometimes, the man would stare at these changes, entranced.

“Give it.”

“No.”

“Are you scared?”

Ashton admitted it.

“Yes.”

Sabina stroked his shoulder, then slowly clasped his hand. Barehanded. It was an obvious signal to read her.

Ashton read Sabina.

‘If you give it to me, I’ll love you more.’

He laughed dryly.

“Trying to move me with something like that.”

Sabina flinched and pulled her hand back. Her ears gradually turned red. She looked embarrassed and awkward.

“I dislike you more because you said that.”

Ashton pushed Sabina onto the bed. Instead of pushing him away, she hugged him tighter.

After a kiss that felt eternal, Sabina got the medicine she wanted from Ashton.

* * *

‘Seizures’ usually came at night.

That’s why Ashton feared nighttime. He didn’t try to show it in front of Sabina, but as dusk approached, he would stare west for a long time, desperately hoping the sun wouldn’t set.

Sabina found his behavior both satisfying and pitiful. She covered Ashton’s eyes with both good and bad intentions.

“Staring won’t make time go slower.”

“That’s true.”

“Should I make it go slower?”

She slowly lowered her hand and hugged Ashton’s neck. He stroked her slender arms, then pressed his lips to her smooth, cold skin.

“If you could turn a day into eternity and live forever, would you?”

Of course, Sabina didn’t do that.

As much as she feared losing her beloved, she also wanted to spit on the corpse of the one she hated.

Sabina monopolized Ashton for the limited time she had. She didn’t realize how jealous she was. She even disliked the maids attending to Ashton, so she dressed him herself.

She didn’t listen when Ashton said he could dress himself.

Every morning and evening, the lovers dressed each other. They bathed together. During those times, there was intense contact, and Sabina would scratch and bite Ashton, tormenting him. Strangely, Ashton would get more excited and attack her when she did that.

Pleasure always made her lose her mind. It felt like diving into a space without hatred or love. As she struggled in the whirlpool of sensation, she gradually learned how to make Ashton much happier with her body.

Ashton’s obsession with Sabina helped him forget his fear of seizures. Seeing him focus on her and rush at her, she was submerged in overwhelming emotion. Ah, now she understood why he hated preparing for seizures, carrying medicine, and watching the sunset. She hated that he paid attention to anything but her.

He had always thought only of Sabina. She knew that. But it wasn’t enough. She wanted him to be as blindly devoted to her as she was to him.

Sabina whispered, breathless,

“Tell me you love me.”

Ashton bit Sabina’s neck. The woman in his arms twisted like a supple fish.

“Hm? Hurry…”

“I love you.”

“Mm… keep going.”

Sabina begged Ashton to say he loved her hundreds of times. Ashton burrowed into her, whispering frantically. He acted rational and calm, but he was just as crazed for Sabina. Sabina wanted to know everything about him—even his lowest emotions and most vulnerable self.

The more Ashton lost control and exposed himself, the happier Sabina became. She could both despise him and find him utterly lovable. She grew more aggressive.

When she was too exhausted to move a finger, she would kiss Ashton with a long breath. The dawn was dark, and her lips were swollen and wet. She burrowed into Ashton’s chest and listened to his heartbeat.

His heartbeat was slow—so slow it was abnormal.

Ashton tangled his lips in Sabina’s hair and fell asleep. The pain he feared didn’t come that night. Sabina hugged him fiercely, feeling both relief and disappointment.

But unexpectedly, trouble came in the morning.

As usual, as they changed clothes and went downstairs for breakfast—

Ashton stumbled before he even finished descending the stairs.

“Ash!”

Sabina panicked and tried to catch Ashton, but it was impossible. Even though he had lost weight, he was still too heavy for her alone. His tall body plunged from the shoulder to the floor.

Ashton tumbled down ten steps.

Soon, a terrible scream echoed through the mansion. After the seizure, Ashton’s arm broke, and he coughed up foam.

“My Lady!” 

Someone shouted and ran over. Sabina covered her mouth with a pale face.

“Gasp…!”

She quickly rewound time. Time easily returned to one minute before. She grabbed Ashton, who was about to go down the stairs, without thinking.

“Why?”

“Don’t go down!”

The moment she commanded like a dagger, Ashton understood why Sabina was acting this way.