Chapter 9.1 – May I Kiss You Today?

Steam gently rose from the two cups placed on the table. Brienne, staring at the tea Herace had poured for her, glanced at him with a doubtful expression.  

He noticed she had arrived just from the sound of her footsteps.  

It was so like Herace, and yet hard to believe. Normally, she would have asked how he could recognize her footsteps, but now Brienne just awkwardly fiddled with the rim of her teacup.  

“But weren’t you spending time with your family?”  

“Ah… We only had a meal together and then they left right away. Earl Harrington has been away recently, so my father has been busy too.”  

“I see. It must have been disappointing not to spend more time with your family after such a long reunion.”  

Herace nodded and leisurely lifted his teacup. Brienne, following his lead and sipping her tea, cautiously asked,  

“By the way, how did you know? I didn’t even know my parents and Shylo were coming.”  

Herace, with a faint smile, gestured to the large window.  

“I happened to see it through the window.”  

By chance.  

Was it really a coincidence?  

From what Brienne had observed of Herace, that never seemed to be the truth. Only calculated outcomes and a hint of pretense suited him.  

“…I see.”  

Brienne was suspicious for a moment but nodded as if nothing was wrong. Her gaze drifted past Herace and settled on the bookshelves lining one wall.  

Noticing where she was looking, Herace got up.  

“If you’d like, feel free to look around.”  

“…Really?”  

“Yes, as much as you’d like.”  

Brienne, awkwardly rising from her seat, glanced around the rather large assistant’s office. She knew Herace spent more than half his day here, but it was her first time actually setting foot inside.  

Approaching the neatly arranged shelves, Brienne picked out a book that caught her eye.  

Herace followed, leaning his head against the bookshelf at an angle.  

“…It feels strange to be here with you, Brienne. Somehow, I’m nervous.”  

Brienne’s hand paused on the thick book cover. Spotting the faintly mischievous smile on Herace’s face, she smiled softly in response.  

“I think I feel a little like that too.”  

Just yesterday, the atmosphere between them hadn’t been good. Now, as if nothing had happened, they were chatting, and though it felt awkward, she didn’t dislike it.  

Was this what a comfortable relationship was?  

Brienne thought she’d felt this before. How many emotions and thoughts was Herace hiding behind that smile?  

At least after reading his letter, she no longer saw his demeanor as light or insincere.  

She knew now that his actions were gentle consideration for her comfort.  

Brienne turned her gaze from his face and, flipping through the pages, asked quietly,  

“Herace, will you be busier when the semester starts?”  

“For a while, I think so. As someone who was disciplined for breaking the rules as an assistant, I can’t let my position tarnish the Academy’s reputation, so I have to work hard.”

Work hard. Judging by the thick book, every page was filled with dense notes. Brienne picked up another book just to check.  

But no matter how many she grabbed, the result was the same.  

Tracing the neat handwriting, Brienne murmured in surprise,  

“…Wow, I guess graduating top of your class isn’t for just anyone. You really studied hard. That’s amazing.”  

“I only do the minimum.”  

Herace, still leaning against the shelf, straightened and took the book from Brienne’s hands, closing it. Embarrassed by the praise, he turned to the window, and Brienne smiled as she followed him.  

“If that’s the minimum, I need to work much harder. Honestly, I’m lucky I didn’t attend school in the same year as you.”  

“…Brienne, you don’t have to flatter me so much.”  

“It’s the truth.”  

Brienne stopped by the window, smiling. Her gaze, looking out at a view different from her own room, suddenly caught a bouquet of flowers set on the window sill.  

“…A bouquet?”  

With a puzzled look, Brienne turned to Herace. He was gazing at her with an unreadable expression.  

Picking up the slightly wilted bouquet, Brienne brought it close to her nose. The faint lingering scent tickled her.  

A gentle smile appeared on Brienne’s lips as she looked down at the pure white flowers.  

“Lisianthus. I like these too. Did someone give them to you?”  

“……”  

But Herace only looked at her holding the bouquet, saying nothing. Brienne, noticing the odd glimmer in his deep gray eyes, tilted her head.  

“Herace?”  

“…Ah.”  

Herace soon smiled and stepped closer, taking the bouquet from her hand and straightening the crumpled wrapping.  

“I didn’t receive it as a gift.”  

“Then you bought it yourself?”  

“Yes, I liked the flower’s meaning.”  

Herace smiled sweetly and handed the bouquet back to Brienne.  

“If such flowers are fine, would you accept them?”  

“…What?”  

Only then did Brienne realize who the original owner of the lisianthus was, and her eyes trembled slightly.  

“……”  

After a brief hesitation, Brienne accepted the bouquet with trembling hands. Looking at the pure white flowers, she recalled yesterday’s conversation with Herace.

<Just know one thing. My confession that I want to be close to you still stands, Brienne.>  

<No matter what kind of pain you give me in the future.>

The white lisianthus, with some petals wilted here and there.  

The bouquet in her hands seemed to resemble the heart she had hurt. Yet it was still beautiful. Fragrant. So dazzling it hurt her chest.  

Brienne, her heart aching with joy, looked down at the bouquet, then lifted her head.  

With a faint smile, Brienne carefully spoke,  

“You know, actually… I came after reading the letter you sent me. Sorry for replying so late.”  

“……”  

Herace’s eyes, watching Brienne’s reaction, paused. Brienne quickly added, just in case,  

“The letter you sent to the mansion in Rontiano. My mother gave it to me.”  

“…Yes, I know what you’re talking about.”  

Herace’s smile faded, and he lowered his gaze. Was he upset? Brienne chose her words carefully.  

“And… I’m really sorry about yesterday too. I should have apologized sooner, so I’m sorry for being late.”  

“That’s not something you need to apologize for. The one who should be truly sorry is me, for getting angry with you.”  

Herace looked up.  

“…I’m sorry for not managing my feelings and acting childish. I also truly regret not being honest with you.”  

“No, this is entirely my fault.”  

Clutching the bouquet tightly, Brienne stammered as she looked into his eyes.  

“…Herace, you asked what you should think of my feelings, right?”  

“……”  

“I couldn’t answer yesterday because I wasn’t confident. Actually, not just yesterday, but even before that. To be honest, I was scared. I couldn’t understand why someone as perfect as you would like me.”  

It was always the same fear.  

That she would lose Herace someday. That he would eventually be disappointed in her.  

That she would lose all the happy moments she’d had with him.  

For Brienne, happiness always seemed to disappear beyond the edge of memory. Everyone said happiness was close by, never far away, but she’d never agreed with that.  

A lazy afternoon nap, the happiness of a sweet bite of cupcake—those were only fleeting moments.  

That happiness, which wasn’t eternal, always brought sadness in the end.  

That’s why Herace’s kindness scared her. The closer she got to him, the bigger her feelings grew.  

But now—  

‘…I think I’ll be okay.’  

At some point, she felt she could even love that fear. She realized that fearing sadness was part of love. Now Brienne was ready to finally face the feelings she had avoided.  

At that moment, Herace spoke quietly.  

“Since the first time I saw you.”  

His lips curled into a faint smile, as if recalling a memory from long ago.  

“Would you believe me if I said I liked you from the very beginning?”  

Brienne blinked at the unexpected words. Her deep gray eyes met his, locking together.  

“The first… time?”  

She’d heard from Diashi that Herace may have liked her for a long time, so she had some idea.  

But the very first meeting?  

Brienne couldn’t remember when she’d first met Herace. She only vaguely recalled meeting him at a gathering at the Bannon mansion when she was young.  

Herace nodded, as if he’d already expected she wouldn’t remember.  

“Yes, since our very first meeting, which you don’t remember.”  

Herace whispered softly and gently brushed Brienne’s cheek with his hand.  

At the sudden touch, Brienne’s shoulders flinched. Even though she’d decided to be clear about her feelings, she wasn’t used to situations like this.  

Brienne’s gaze wandered, flustered, across his beautiful face, his shoulders, his heart.  

“I’ve lived just waiting for the day I could meet you again, Brienne.”  

And then, with those eyes.  

Herace’s hand, which had been caressing her cheek, slowly moved to her chin. His thumb touched her slightly parted red lower lip.  

“Brienne.”  

Herace took the bouquet from her and gently pulled her into his arm. Brienne’s feet lifted off the ground.  

“…He-Herace. Wait a moment.”  

Brienne, perched precariously on the narrow window sill, clung to his shoulder in surprise.  

But Herace only smiled calmly, as if he had planned this all along.  

“May I kiss you today?”  

His voice was lower than usual, taking her breath away. She couldn’t look away from the deep gray eyes full of emotions she couldn’t possibly misunderstand.