His gaze felt scorching on me. It made me so uncomfortable that I hesitated, wondering whether to pretend to be asleep and turn away, when suddenly I felt his hand gently grasp my wrist.

It was a feather-light touch with almost no strength behind it. He fiddled with my small hand resting in his large one and muttered weakly.

“Is the… detoxification still incomplete?”

Natalie frowned.

“The mage guaranteed he’d completely drive out the poison within two months. He said your memories would return naturally then. But nearly three months have passed and Your Majesty the Empress still…”

Her voice, which had been denouncing the mage with uncharacteristic heat, suddenly lost its strength.

“He’s untrustworthy and utterly seditious, but…”

“…”

He didn’t move. Natalie watched him with pity and sighed again.

“He’s the only one we can trust… so we have no choice but to wait.”

The inner chamber fell silent again. All that could be heard was my wheezing breath, feverish and labored, and the crackling sound of candles consuming themselves.

After a long while, he spoke in a sunken voice.

“Your body hasn’t even fully recovered yet… if your memories return, what if…”

Unable to finish what he was trying to say, Natalie spoke firmly to him.

“That won’t happen again.”

“…”

“Your Majesty treats this person like a hothouse flower that can’t withstand even a light breeze, but the Empress I’ve watched over is someone with a strong will. Even more so when there’s someone to protect. You know that.”

“…”

“Back then too… if she hadn’t been weakened by the drug, such a thing would never have…”

“Leave now.”

He suddenly cut off Natalie’s words. Pain seeped into his voice as he issued the order to leave, seemingly in agony. Natalie hesitated, then added:

“I know you’ve stayed up for several nights recently dealing with the aftermath of the treason. I understand your concern for the Empress, but I’m serving her loyally by her side, so please don’t worry too much.”

“…”

“That too is the duty of a ruler. Only if Your Majesty stays strong can you fully protect Her Majesty the Empress.”

Having finished speaking, Natalie left the inner chamber.

“…”

He stared down at me silently, then murmured softly.

“Are you punishing me like this? Anything is fine. If it comes from you, I’ll accept it gladly. But… not like this. Don’t punish me by tormenting yourself. You have many weap*ns. With a single finger you could manipulate me, hurt me. You know that. So… please get up. Get up and…”

Unable to continue, he took the small, warm hand he was holding and pressed it against his own cool forehead. Then he whispered heavily, like someone carrying a thousand-pound burden.

“Seeing you with everything forgotten… I can’t tell whether God has given me a new chance or cursed me…”

His voice was filled only with self-mockery.

“Isn’t it strange? Then and now… you’re the only one who can take me to heaven or h*ll.”

“…”

The moment he entered, I regained consciousness, but I kept pretending to be asleep. Perhaps because I hoped he might honestly reveal something about our relationship that he’d never spoken of.

As expected, he revealed his inner thoughts. But it was nothing more than self-pitying laments with little to gain.

The entire time I listened to him, I felt hatred bubbling like embers in my chest. Despite that, I couldn’t think the emotions he’d just poured out were lies.

Rather, I felt something stirring deep in my heart. Something like… joy.

“…”

Pretending to be asleep, I turned my back to him. I hated seeing that detestable man, and I hated seeing myself waver. I squeezed my tightly shut eyes even harder, like I was blocking myself off from everything.

“…”

I must have fallen asleep without realizing it. When I groggily opened my eyes, the surroundings had already grown dimly bright. Perhaps because my fever had broken, my vision was clearer than the night before.

‘…He must have left already.’

Thinking that, I slowly sat up when something suddenly caught on my hand with a clunk. When I turned, he was asleep leaning back in a chair, clutching my hand.

“…”

I was bewildered. Natalie had definitely said he was too busy to even sleep, so why was he still here?

Not wanting to wake him, I just stared at the man’s hand that bound me tightly. Then, something thumped deep in my chest.

‘I know the feel of this hand.’

This had happened before. When I was sick and he worried about me, staying by my side the whole time watching over me.

The moment I looked at him with wavering eyes, his eyes snapped open. He stared at me blankly with a face covered in exhaustion, then quickly straightened his back the next moment.

Before he could open his mouth with a flustered expression, I turned my head to the side in avoidance and said curtly.

“Go back to the Emperor’s palace… instead of not resting properly.”

“…”

He noticed with uncanny accuracy that my voice had softened slightly, just a tiny bit. His face brightened instantly. When I sneakily glanced up at him, I felt like my heart had been struck. He wore a shy, flushed expression like a boy falling in love for the first time.

“When I can finally look at you to my heart’s content… even sleep felt like a waste.”

“…”

At his words, which were desperate and almost trembling, I rolled my eyes silently. Just then, with a knock on the door, maids came flooding in.

Natalie at the front brightened when she saw I was up. She rushed to me, ignoring even the Emperor.

“Fortunately your fever has broken. I’ve brought thin soup, so please eat.”

While the maids changed my chemise, extinguished the candles, drew back the curtains, and tidied the inner chamber, the Emperor obediently withdrew behind a screen and waited.

Once I put on a gown and sat at the table, he sat across from me. Soon food was laid out before me. I had no appetite, but at Natalie’s urging, I had no choice but to pick up my spoon.

The moment I scooped up a spoonful of soup and put it in my mouth, our eyes met. He was looking at me with a gentle smile.

“…”

It was clearly soup with barely any ingredients… yet my mouth felt sharp, like it was lined with blades. In the end, I had the food taken away.

* * *

“I have something I want to ask…”

At my words, the physician who had finished examining me bowed with a humble expression.

“Please command me, Your Majesty the Empress.”

I looked at him and thought. I couldn’t… keep it to myself any longer. The mage would be the best person to ask, but he wasn’t here, and I was anxious. So I asked in the most vague terms possible.

“Is it possible… for memories to remain different from the facts?”

The physician’s expression suddenly became cautious. It made sense—these were words from someone who’d lost all their memories. The physician carefully chose his words, one by one.

“Are you perhaps speaking of recalling all your memories…”

“No. I still can’t recall anything.”

He thought deeply, then shook his head.

“Memory is cunning. What we call memory is something edited favorably in the desired direction, considering one’s own circumstances. It’s never the objective situation itself. So comparing the context before and after, as well as the memories of those around you at the time, and judging from all of that—that would be the proper method to pick out the certain facts.”

“…”

The memories of those around me were useless to hear, so what I needed was the context before and after. But that was precisely what I lacked.

I sighed involuntarily.

‘If only they’d come back in a continuous stream instead of these scattered fragments…’

As I lamented inwardly, the physician hesitated beside me, reading the room. I glanced at him and said:

“If you have something to say, say it.”

At those words, the physician hesitated for a long time before finally opening his mouth.

“I apologize, but… is there perhaps… any hereditary condition in Your Majesty the Empress’s family line…”

At the unexpected question, I raised my eyebrows.

“…Are you talking about genetic diseases?”

I was bewildered. Why suddenly ask that? Wasn’t it simply that my body weakened from catching a cold wind?

Then I suddenly thought of producing an heir. I immediately understood and shook my head.

“As far as I know, there’s nothing like that in the Wickander family. I haven’t heard of anything on my mother’s side either.”

“Ah…”

Puzzled, I added:

“Aren’t these things already examined before entering the Imperial Palace?”

“Of course, but just in case…”

The physician, trailing off, strangely seemed disappointed. He immediately bowed his head respectfully.

“I understand. I truly apologize for asking such an impertinent question, Your Majesty the Empress.”

“…It’s fine.”

The physician left the inner chamber with repeated bows. I tilted my head, watching him leave with shoulders that seemed more slumped than when he’d entered.

“The Grand Assembly will be held soon.”

Natalie said this while arranging flowers the maids had cut into a vase. Since learning I liked flowers, she’d personally managed the flowers in my inner chamber.

I was halfheartedly flipping through a thick leather-bound manuscript containing the life of a saint when I glanced at her.

‘So that’s why she came back early today—to tell me this.’

I pretended not to hear and turned another page as I spoke.

“Where do you go all the time?”

“…!”

In an instant, a flower stem snapped in Natalie’s hand. I hid my face behind the heavy book and secretly stole a glance at her expression. Natalie replied calmly without any change in expression.

“I have my own business to attend to, don’t I, Your Majesty the Empress?”

“…Why the Grand Assembly?”

Deflated, I put the book down with a thud and pushed it aside carelessly. Natalie frowned, picked up the book, and placed it neatly on the table.

“As Your Majesty the Empress knows, the Grand Assembly is a great event of the Empire where the nobles who are vassals of His Majesty the Emperor gather once a year from each region to the capital to present the taxes collected from their fiefs to His Majesty.”

“That’s right. But…”

I frowned slightly.

“Didn’t you say there was an attempted rebellion…”

I heard everyone in the Imperial Palace was extremely busy dealing with the aftermath…

In truth, the Grand Assembly’s main purpose was to widely display the imperial family’s strength. The actual calculation and collection of taxes ended with administrative officials from each territory and tax collectors directly appointed by the Emperor comparing their respective records to verify amounts and goods.

So in this special situation, as long as the document details and collected amounts matched, there was no need to hold the Grand Assembly.

Natalie snorted and said:

“His Majesty the Emperor and the Empire won’t falter from just that much.”

“…”

“Though it took some time to suppress them, we’ve pulled out the roots of those seditious groups without leaving any behind, having sharpened our teeth for so long, so Your Majesty the Empress need not worry.”

“…I see.”

I stared at her triumphant face silently and propped my chin on my hand.

‘Does an ordinary maid know this much detail about political strife?’

Unaware of what I was thinking, Natalie glanced at me and carefully continued.

“This year… how about Your Majesty the Empress also attending?”

“…Me?”

“Yes.”

I tilted my head with an innocent expression. But my mind was spinning rapidly.

“Did the Empress attend the Grand Assembly in previous years?”